Let Go

This morning's ultrasound showed about 6+ follicles on each side. I have no idea how they measured 10 on one side two days ago and now there are only 6. But this was the least of my worries, so I didn't even ask. My lining measured at only 5. A measly 5. I was upset, of course, but was told that they would fit us in to see the doctor before we left. I got blood drawn and then we waited for about 30 minutes and were then told that he was too busy to see us. So we met with the nurse again, I cried, and she promised that she would talk to the doc personally to try to get some reassurance that we are still on track.

I went to work a miserable wreck. The nurse called while I was at lunch (and didn't hear my phone ringing in my purse) and left a voicemail saying that she had spoken with the doctor and he was happy with where we were at this point in the cycle. Happy? She didn't give any details, but said she would call back later after blood work results came back.

Around 3:30pm she called back with my instructions. I am to drop my Go.nal-F dose to 37.5 tonight, still take the 1 vial of Men.opur in the morning, and haul ass to the pharmacy to pick up some estr.ace and vi.agra. I am to start taking vi.agra supps 4 times a day and 1 estr.ace at night. The combination of these is meant to increase the thickness of my lining. I know it sounds a bit weird, but vi.agra is supposed to help increase blood flow to the uterus when administered vaginally. I guess it makes sense when you think about what it is normally used for.

Dr. S is apparently happy that we have fewer follicles this time (12+ compared to 22+ last time), so this must mean he thinks my estrogen will stay under control. And we are willing to give up all those extra follies if it means actually getting a chance at a fresh transfer. Today my estrogen was at 1,618. Although I think this is a bit high, it doesn't seem super high to me, but there is just no way to tell where we will end up right now.

I had a million questions for the nurse and she finally said (in the nicest possible way), that I need to let go and just trust that Dr. S knows what he is doing. I guess instead of "let go and let god" it is "let go and let Dr. S." So that's what I will try to do. I will take what I'm told to take and show up for as many ultrasounds and blood draws as they want. I go back in tomorrow morning for another wanding and a stick.

In the meantime, I'm going to sample as many beverages other than gat.orade as possible that have sodium and electrolytes (and no caffeine), and eat as much salty food as I can. I just can't drink gat.orade after my last fresh cycle. I felt like I nearly OD'd on the stuff and it makes me gag now.

After my appointment tomorrow, I'll be heading north to meet up with the ColoBloggers for a bit. I plan to spend the rest of the weekend on the couch as much as possible. I haven't been feeling great and started feeling pretty darn cruddy last night and into today. At least no more work for 2 days. The couch is calling.