Can't I Catch a Break?

Just as the rash is starting to get better (note "better," not "gone"), I get a cold. Throat hurts, stuffed up and feeling crappy. This thing better go away quickly.

No News

Just revisiting an old friend today.

35 Weeks

I can't believe we've made it to 35 weeks. With the exception of the last week or so (since the rash appeared), my 6 weeks on bed rest has gone by pretty quickly. Although I bet B and my parents feel differently. The three of them have traded off waiting on me like a queen for this entire time.

I took my last dose of proc.ardia at 6am this morning and so far I haven't noticed any difference. I have absolutely no gut feeling as to whether something will happen in the next week or not. I know it is probably better for the babies to stay in until 36 weeks, but I wouldn't mind one bit if it happened sooner. I obviously have selfish reasons for feeling this way, but I also just would rather go into labor on my own rather than being induced.

I've posted some belly pix below. I figured I needed to get off my ass (literally) and take some more pictures before it is too late. If you dare, you can click on the picture to see a bigger version and you can see the rash within my stretch marks on my lower abdomen in addition to on my side. But it doesn't really do it justice. I would have to take a picture of my thighs to give you the full effect and I just didn't want to. I don't even like looking at it as it seems to make me itch more!

The End is in Sight

We had our last appointment with the perinatologist today. It went well, the babies looked fine. They measured Apple at 4 pounds 6 ounces and Banana at 5 pounds 1 ounce, so pretty close to what the OB's sonographer got on Monday. Fluid looked okay too. Apple is coming in at the 17th percentile (was 19% two weeks ago) and Banana at the 27th (was 40% two weeks ago). So Banana slipped down the curve a bit. But the peri said the growth curves are based on singleton averages and that it is common for twins to be behind the curve, so not concerning enough to do anything about it.

Because of where the babies are now (head down, stable and at a late enough gestational age) and because of this hellacious rash I have all over my body, her recommendation is to take me off the pro.cardia tomorrow (contractions be damned) and schedule an induction at 36 weeks (in about a week) if I don't go into labor first. She didn't bother with a cervical check today because it really doesn't matter at this point-if I go into labor, they will let me.

I have mixed feelings about induction, but I really think that my days as a stellar incubator are past. I'm not getting any decent sleep (maybe an average of 2 hours a night) and when I do sleep, I'm scratching myself in my sleep. My appetite is starting to wane. And frankly, I'm starting to lose my sanity. I'm usually in tears at some point every night because I just want the itch to stop. The rash keeps spreading and absolutely nothing is helping. I'm also appalled at the sight of it. I played around with the idea of taking some pictures to post, but I'm afraid I might lose all of you, my dear readers, for posting something so incredibly offensive. I guess one good point is that the itch pretty much takes my mind off of the pelvic pain and makes it less intense.

I can definitely tell that the babies are low now. Lots of pressure going on down there. It will be really interesting to see if anything happens spontaneously after stopping the medication tomorrow. It has been a long 6 weeks since I first went to the hospital and I'm proud of us for making it this far. My goal all along was to get each baby to 5 pounds and to go to 38 weeks. Those goals tend to slip as things start going wrong along the way. I am just relieve to be past the major developmental milestones for the babies and will just hope for the best at this point. I'm trying to get excited that we are so close to the end now, but to be honest, all I feel right now is relief. The itching will stop. It is all I can think about right now.

There's a Tornado in "There"

Today's NST went fairly well considering we were able to get both babies on the monitor for a long enough period of time. Apple looked great, but this time Banana's strip was a bit flat. Met with the doctor next and everything is normal with me. She looked at my rash (this is a different doc than the one who looked last week) and said she thought the rash on my abdomen is PUPPP, but that she wasn't sure what the rest of it is. She did say it looks pregnancy-related to her and that it should go away after the babies are born. In the meantime, I just have to keep doing what I'm doing and suffer through. This is going to be a long (x) days.

Next was the BPP and both babies passed. It took awhile for Banana to pass this time, but he did eventually. Today Apple measured 4 pounds, 5 ounce and Banana measured an even 5 pounds. The sonographer mentioned that we shouldn't get too caught up in the numbers because the margin of error this far along is up to a pound. But based on these measurements, their growth is different by 14%, so not too bad. Banana still has more fluid than Apple, but she appears to have a good amount of fluid, so I no longer need to keep doing the baths for her fluid. However, the doc said I could take baths if I wanted to and try the A.veeno oatmeal bath treatment to see if it was soothing for the rash.

Both babies are still head down and the sonographer noted that Banana is much lower now than he was last week. I had a sneaking suspicion that he was lower as I've been feeling a bit more pressure. The other notable change is that my cervix has shortened to 2.3cm and has started to funnel. This means that the top portion of the cervix (closest to the uterus and the babies) has started opening. Normally this would be a sign of pre-term labor, but since average gestation for twin pregnancies is 35 weeks and I'll be 35 weeks on Thursday, this isn't a cause for concern at this point. It just means that we are getting close and starting to see some action.

That's about all for now. I can't type for long (or concentrate on anything for long) as the itching just drives me batty. The prescription lotion and the cream don't really seem to help at all, but I'm still using them. The only relief seems to be from using ice packs (thanks Rebecca!), but it is hard to know where to put them since I itch all over. Gotta try out that oatmeal bath tonight and see if it helps.

I'm Getting My Money's Worth

The rash continues to spread. There are more bumps on my fingers than there were yesterday and it is now showing up on my arms, legs, shoulders and back. I pulled out the leaflet in the steroid cream today just to take a look and noticed that the drug is listed as a Pregnancy Category C drug. From what I understand, this means that the drug has been shown to have adverse effects to a fetus in animal studies, but has not been adequately tested on humans. However, the FDA recommendations state that the potential benefits may still warrant use of the drug despite the risks.

Although I'm sure the PA yesterday knew what he was talking about when he stated it is perfectly safe to use in pregnancy, I started to get nervous. I mean after all we've been through, I just don't want to risk harming Apple and Banana and I had never met this guy before, nor seen anyone in the practice. I know plenty of medications are used in pregnancy, but between my morning sickness, pre-term labor scare and now this, I've just taken way more drugs than I ever imagined or wanted to during pregnancy.

So I called the answering service for my OB's office today and had the doctor on call paged. I might have said this before, but one of the positives that came out of my hospital stay is that I have now met each of the 6 doctor's in my OB's practice more than once and I'm very comfortable with almost all of them. The OB that called me back today confirmed what the PA said and she was happy that he had prescribed the steroid cream. She said they use it for PUPPPs patients all the time. She also suggested we put the immersion therapy on hold for the weekend, so no more baths for me at least until my next appointment on Monday. This is a relief. Last night and this morning I would sit in the bath just wondering if I was making the stupid rash worse. But I didn't want to stop them if the OB thought it was still necessary to help Apple keep her fluid up.

What I love about my OB's practice is that I never feel rushed when talking to them. I feel like they take the time to listen and provide as much information as they can. The PA at the dermatologist's office was not like that at all. He was short with our conversation and seemed in a hurry to be done with me. I don't like this treatment at all, especially in a medical setting. The OB that I spoke with today reassured me that even though the rash is still spreading, it will run its course and will likely clear up as suddenly as it appeared. She also said that unlike PUPPPs, which you are stuck with until delivery, this will likely clear up before then. Of course who knows when delivery will be, but at least I can stop worrying that I now have a skin condition that I'll have to live with the rest of my life since it isn't pregnancy-related.

So now I just need to concentrate on NOT SCRATCHING as much as possible. This is SO much easier said than done.

Itchy and Scratchy

Someone must come up with a better word for what I'm feeling. Itchy just doesn't cut it. I want to jump out of my skin. Got in to see a PA at the dermatologist today and he didn't think I have any of the pregnancy specific rashes. Simple dermatitis. Dry, inflamed skin aggravated by two 30 minute baths and a shower each day for 6 weeks now. He glanced at my hands and my belly for all of two seconds, announced his conclusion and sent me on my way with a script for some fancy lotion and instructions to use cet.aphil cream. He said it could be gone in a week and if so, continue with the script for another week so it doesn't recur.

Tonight has been the worst night yet. Not sure why, but I just don't feel all that confident that this is going to work.

The 2-3 Week Itch

Yes! We've made it to 34 weeks. The doctor on Monday said they wouldn't let me go past either 36 or 37 weeks, so only 2-3 weeks left max! Scary thought. But at the same time, I am SO ready. What has started pushing me over the edge is the itchy skin I've had for awhile that has now turned into a rash (or multiple rashes). It is ridiculous. I had an appointment for an NST today, so I asked to see one of the doctors. The rash could be one of two things that are related to pregnancy, or it could be some other type of rash unrelated to pregnancy. The itching started on my abdomen a week or two ago, but the doctor at the time thought it was just dry skin related to the stretching. Now, I've developed red bumps both on my lower abdomen and sides, and on both hands.

One of the most common pregnancy-related rashes is PUPPP. The doctor thought it was possible that I have this, but she didn't seem to think it likely because PUPPP doesn't usually show up on the hands. And the bumps are usually smaller than what I have on my abdomen. There is no definitive way to diagnose PUPPP and they usually just do it by visual exam of the rash. Unfortunately, there isn't much they can do to treat PUPPP.

Another possibility is Cholestasis of Pregnancy. This one involves the liver and usually involves the hands. I asked the doctor if it could harm the babies because I had done some reading ahead of time. She said she thought it was a very low risk. It is possible, but she has never seen it affect the babies and really is just an annoyance (which I think is an understatement). She did say if this is the culprit, it is treatable, although she didn't mention what the treatment would be and I didn't think to ask. They took blood today to check for cholestasis, but results won't be back for a week.

The doctor also suggested I make an appointment with a dermatologist because I could have a rash that is unrelated to pregnancy or not caused by pregnancy, but is being aggravated by it. I will be putting in a call or two tomorrow to beg for a quick appointment. In the meantime, I'm supposed to use hydrocortisone cream twice a day and 50mg of ben.adryl every 6 hours. I've been on the hydrocortisone for a couple of days now and it doesn't seem to be helping. So I'm adding the bena.dryl and hoping for the best.

The good news is that the rash shouldn't affect the babies, but it is driving their mother MAD. The rash on my hands is on the outside of the hand and runs from the last knuckle of the pinky down to the wrist bone. It is also starting to show up between the fingers and my palms itch too. This morning in the shower I was using an exfoliant for my face and I ended up sitting there for a minute or two rubbing it between my hands because it felt so good. The rash on my abdomen just looks gross along with the stretch marks. One of the nurses commented today that my skin looks like it's been through the wringer. Yeah, that's how it feels.

The NST was fine today-for one of the babies at least (we think Banana). We couldn't get the other baby on at all (likely Apple). So it was a big waste of time again and they ended up relying on ultrasound to check fetal well-being. The ultrasound was pretty miserable for me today. It took forever because both babies were pretty sleepy and weren't moving around enough to pass the BPP quickly. Both ended up passing, but I think it took almost the full hour. I was really uncomfortable lying on the table for so long and I'm quite sore tonight. The sonographer did note that both babies now have hair on their heads. Yea! She also noted that Apple emptied her bladder. At the beginning of the scan, it was full and then when she checked back later, it was empty.

We didn't get any good pictures today because the babies were facing each other with both heads facing out. They are now lying like mirror images. Can you tell what is different now from Monday based on this statement? Banana seems to have turned Vertex (head down)! I had a sneaking suspicion that this was the case because Tuesday night there was so much violent movement that it was painful and I actually yelped involuntarily a couple of times. So I think I was feeling Banana struggle to flip himself head down. What a good boy! I'm hoping that at this point there is not enough room left for him to flip back to breech, but you never know. If he does, I'm sure I will feel it. They did not do measurements today, so no estimates for weight.

Next appointment is on Monday. I have to go put some icepacks on my abdomen and hands now or I'm going to claw my skin off the bones.

Information or Misinformation?

The more monitoring these kids get, the more convinced I am that the tests are really inconclusive or quite possibly, inaccurate. I was originally scheduled only for an NST and a cervical check U/S today, so we didn't expect to see the babies. However, Apple's heart rate looked flat on the strip today. She wasn't having decelerations or anything bad like that, but she wasn't showing accelerations either.  Banana had a bunch of accelerations where his heart rate would jump up for short periods of time.  This is a sign that he is healthy and happy in my ute.

Because Apple wasn't quite as reactive, the doctor decided we'd better do a BPP (biophysical profile) to check her out. And while we were in there, the sonographer did one for Banana as well. Here's what it showed:

Miss Apple:

• Moving around great
• Practice breathing
• Heart rate fine
• Fluid looked pretty good (one pocket at 5cm)
• Blood flow through cord okay from what I gathered (although they didn't really say)
• Weighs about 4 pounds 7 ounces, at the 18th percentile on the growth chart

Mr. Banana:

• Good movement
• Practice breathing
• Heart rate fine
• Fluid looked good (I think I saw a 6cm measurement on the screen when she was measuring a pocket)
• Blood flow through cord okay (again, they didn't say otherwise)
• Weighs about 4 pounds 9 ounces, at the 25th percentile on growth chart
• His testicles have descended!  (yes, Daddy is proud)

So if today's measurements AND last Wednesday's measurements are to be believed, Apple grew a whole pound in 5 days and Banana didn't grow at all.  Not likely.  The doctor said it is possible that Apple could have had a growth spurt and grew about half a pound in that time, but not really a whole pound.   It could be that the measurements on Wednesday were a little stingy while today's where on the generous side.  They were done by different people using different U/S machines, so it is really difficult to truly know what has happened.  It is also possible that Banana didn't grow much as they can grow in spurts and then have short periods where they don't grow much at all.  Last Wednesday the babies had a growth difference of 24% and today they are considered to not really have any difference.  So who knows what to make of any of it?  This is why they don't generally do growth scans any closer than two weeks apart.

Because Apple's BPP looked good, they aren't concerned about her non-reactive NST.  They generally look for accelerations on the NST to show that the baby's heart rate increases with activity, so it is an indication that the baby is moving around.  Healthy babies move a lot.  However, some babies move around a lot, but their heart rate stays steady and doesn't increase.  This is just fine too, but when seen only on an NST, there is no reassurance that the baby is active enough.  You can't rely on kick counts with twins because it is often difficult to tell which twin is moving.  So the BPP is a better indication.  We have another NST scheduled for Thursday and if we run into the same problem, they will do another BPP.  If that does happen, we might skip the NST's altogether and just do BPP's twice a week.  I would much rather have ultrasounds anyway instead of the NST's where I'm hooked up to the monitors.

So what does all of this mean?  As of today, they didn't see anything concerning, but who knows how accurate the measurements are.  At least they are both moving around a lot and have better fluid levels.  The OB did say if the peri wanted to delivery early based on what they are seeing now, she would question the suggestion and argue against it.  This is my main concern-that we will be pushed to make a decision based on misinformation.  It is just difficult to tell which information is good and which is not.  As of today, we are keeping everything the same unless something with me changes (less fetal movement or worse contractions).  At the next appointment on Thursday, I'll be 34 weeks, which is another milestone.

The OB said today that they may not want me to go past 36 weeks (or maybe 37) with the fluid and discordant growth issues.  December 18 is 36 weeks, so place your bets now!

As far as mom goes (meaning me, of course), everything is going well.  Blood pressure is still low and I'm not showing any signs of pre-eclampsia.  My weight gain has continued slow and steady (up about 31 or 32 pounds now).  My belly now measures 40cm.  And I haven't had much swelling.  I do have a bit of swelling in my lower abdomen which the OB said was normal.  She also commented on how little I complain, which my mom and I both thought was funny.  I told the OB she is lucky she isn't at home with me!

My stretch marks continue to itch like mad.  I've tried lotion, cocoa butter, medicated lotion and bio oil, none of which seems to do anything for the itch.  The OB told me to try hydracortisone cream or bena.dryl cream (or even oral be.nadryl), so we'll see if that does anything.  I have my doubts.  Here's my take on the scientific equation:  Skin stretching to ridiculous dimensions in short period of time + dry climate + winter + little limbs constantly poking out = many loud exclamations of "someonemakethisitchgoawayfortheloveofgod!!!!"

I also have some new pains that have popped up in the last couple of days.  The nail on my big right toe somehow seems to be bruised, although I don't remember stubbing it or hitting it on anything (which in no way means that I didn't actually stub it or hit it and just can't recall).  The more annoying pain is in a couple of fingers on my left hand.  Any type of movement that requires the fingers to bend is painful.  The OB said it is likely fluid retention in the joints and that even a tiny amount of fluid can produce pain and stiffness.  She said she would assume it is pregnancy related unless it doesn't go away after the pregnancy.  If it continues to get worse, I might have to start dictating my posts B or my mom!  (just add it to the hundreds of other things they do for me every day).  Other than that, I'm just as uncomfortable as ever and getting antsy every so often.  Still having trouble getting comfortable on the couch or in bed and still having some lovely pelvic pain every time I move.  Nothing new there.

I'm definitely carrying lower now.  Baby B was lower on the ultrasound today and one of the nurses commented on how low the babies are.  This really isn't any indication of when I'll go into labor, so it doesn't really matter.  Although I'm trying not to sit up too much because my belly rests on my thighs which is a really uncomfortable feeling.  Weird.  I'm not supposed to be sitting up anyway, but sometimes a girl's gotta cheat.

In other household news, B bought a ceiling fan/light fixture for the nursery this week and it will be installed sometime next week.  Good thing as there currently isn't a light in the room.  We continue to get other little odds and ends done for baby stuff.  The christmukah tree is officially up and decorated (with the help of my parents and B, while I sat on the couch and put hooks into ornaments).  We got a good 8 inches or so of snow over the weekend, so it really started to feel like winter.  Although it is 50 degrees today and melting quickly.  We also got a cabinet guy out last weekend to give us an estimate for doing a built in for the tv niche in the family room.  We've been wanting to do this for 2 years now (since we moved into this house), and it feels great to have that finally in the works.  It should be ready for installation the week of December 15th though, so we might need to postpone a bit depending on what these babies decide to do.

That's all for now.  We did get two U/S pictures from today, so I'll post later once we get them scanned.

*ETA*

Forgot to mention, my cervix measured 2.7cm today.  On Wed. the peri got two different measurements at 2.5 and 3.0, but she documented the 3.0 in my chart.  So, on paper, it has shortened a tad since Wednesday.

33w3d

If you haven't already, check out this video.

This week's belly shots are below. Does it look like I'm carrying really low now? It feels like it. My belly feels heavier every day. I hope that means the babies are growing, especially Apple. OB appointment and NST tomorrow. Not feeling very chatty today.

The Wiggle Worms

Periodically, Apple and/or Banana are so active that you can see a ballet of body parts poking through my belly.  We caught one of these shows on tape this morning.

NST's Here I Come

I'm back home on the couch, which is better than being back in the hospital, right?  Today's appointment went relatively well.  As seems to be the case with this pregnancy, as soon as we get some level of comfort, things change a bit.  The babies are still growing, but Apple is lagging further behind her brother and the growth curve.  The good news is that her fluid looks pretty good-still decreased compared to Banana, but it is better than it was.  The other worrisome news is that my cervix has shortened a bit, which could mean that the contractions are starting to change my cervix and I could go into labor.  But what's new?  Here are the details:

• Apple now weighs about 3 pounds 7 ounces, so she has only gained about 6 ounces in two weeks.  She was around the 31st percentile for growth two weeks ago and has slipped down to the 19th or 20th percentile.  The main issue driving the estimates continues to be her small abdomen.  She just isn't getting as much nourishment from her placenta as she should be.
• Banana weighs about 4 pounds 9 ounces, so they are over a pound different.  Doesn't sound that big, but it is significant when they weigh so little to begin with.  He gained almost a pound in the last 2 weeks.  Today he measured in around the 40th percentile.  I had written down that he was at 44% two weeks ago, but today they said he was at 41% two weeks ago and that he really hasn't moved on the curve, which is good.
• Both babies had similar doppler measurements (measures blood flow from the placenta through the umbilical cord to the baby).
• The sonographer had an easy time finding a 4cm pocket of fluid for each baby, so that is good.
• Apple is head down and Banana is breach.
• The peri now wants me to have NST's done twice a week.  This is the same thing they did in the hospital where we would have to get a good tracing of both babies on the monitor for 20 minutes at a time.  But it can be done at my OB's office, so I don't have to go to the hospital.

Given how Apple is lagging further behind, unless she has a massive growth spurt in the next two weeks, it looks like we will be delivering then (unless I go into active labor before then).  I will be almost 35 weeks at that point.  I'm not quite sure what our chances are for attempting a vaginal delivery at this point.  The peri made it sound like it would be up to the OB, but that the OB probably wouldn't be comfortable with a vaginal delivery since Banana weighs a pound more than Apple and is on top of her.  I will be asking the OB about this on Monday.  I haven't quite resigned myself to having a c-section yet.

So I give this appointment mixed reviews.  We are obviously in much better shape than we were at the beginning of the month, but not completely out of the woods.  We are still likely looking at some NICU time, but I guess you never know.  At least we did the steroid shots to mature the babies' lungs and we are past the 32 week mark.

Below are some pictures from one of the scans we had in the hospital (on the 7th) that I didn't get around to scanning until now.  The last two pictures (the 3-d ones are from today).  They aren't as good as some of the earlier pictures as the babies are getting a bit big to get really good pictures and they haven't been cooperating all that much.  It is starting to get pretty crowded in there!  The first picture from today (second to last picture below) is Apple with her hand smushed up against her face.  The last picture below is from today and shows Banana's profile pretty much completely hidden by his face.  Both babies had an arm up and we wondered if it was a defensive position because each has a foot or two in their face from the other baby.  Banana's arm looks chunky to me compared to skinny little Apple.  On the screen, it actually looked like Banana was holding his hand to his forehead like he had a headache!

One More Sleep

Next growth scan and BPP tomorrow.  The last two weeks have crawled by so slowly.  I wonder every day how they're doing in there.  Thinking lots of fluid-y thoughts...

Weekly OB Update

Had my weekly OB visit today. Nothing new to report. Here are the quick highlights:

• Heard babies heart beats
• Blood pressure at 120/66
• Iron at 13 something (was 11 something before adding supplements weeks ago-should be over 12)
• Weight up 1.5 pounds since last week-not sure I really believe this one as last week's appointment was a morning appointment and this one was late afternoon
• Belly still measuring 39cm
• Got my paperwork back signed by the doctor for my maternity leave
• No sign of PUPP, so itching is just from my lovely stretching skin-doctor recommended any kind of butter/cream since thicker than lotion

Wednesday is the next ultrasound with the perinatologist.  It can't come fast enough.

32w3d

No changes to my contractions lately except (dare I say?) they seem to be spread out a bit further. Overall, I feel okay. Pelvic pain has gotten worse and I do have moments of crazy where I feel like I HAVE to move and get off the couch for awhile. My routine is starting to feel very dull. My main annoyance lately is that the skin on my lower abdomen and around the belly button has started to itch like mad. It is so sensitive and tender that if I scratch it very lightly even just for a little bit, it starts to hurt. I must have had a growth spurt in the last day or two that has stretched the skin very thin. Has anyone found anything that helps other than plain old lotion?

B got a lot done this week/weekend. He visited one of the daycare centers on our list, put the changing table together, changed some light bulbs, replaced a battery in a smoke detector (that started beeping at 4am the other night), went grocery shopping, picked up my prescription, got a new tire on his car, put up the Christmas tree and put together the new oil-less turkey frier I got him as an early b-day gift. I sat on the couch yesterday watching him go back and forth like the energizer bunny all day long.

B also made a whole chicken for dinner last night to try out the frier. It cooked a bit unevenly because the chicken was small and a bit difficult to center on the basket, but it was really good. Incredibly tender and moist. We won't be using it for the main bird on Thanksgiving this year, but maybe next year once it is broken in.

Not to be outdone, my mom (with some help from dad) has been running around like crazy helping us to get some things together and taking care of my lunches during the week. She put together a hospital bag for me and I just need to add a couple more things to it. She has also been helping with laundry and all sorts of other odds and ends.

Because of all of this, we are getting very close to having everything ready for these babies! Here's what is still on the list:

1. We still need to decide whether or not to get on a list for a daycare and pay the non-refundable deposit now, or wait and hire a nanny later.
2. B is going to try to install the car seat bases (4 of them!) later this afternoon. Once they are installed, we have to make an appointment with the fire department to get them checked out.
3. We still need to buy a monitor. Ideally, I would like to get a video monitor that has two separate cameras so that we can see both babies. From the online research I've done, there are a couple of video monitors that offer the ability to set up a second camera, although the options are very limited. All the reviews I've read say that hooking up the second camera generates a bunch of static or interference. So I've been stalling on making a decision on this one.
4. We still need to buy some feeding items (bottles, bottle cleaning accessories)
5. I'm still looking for an extra diaper bag. A friend got us one as a gift and it will work great for shorter trips (and it is so incredibly cute). However, I think with twins I need to look for a really big one too to use for overnight visits, and travel etc.
6. Take home outfits for the babies. We'll wait on this one for awhile. I would have no idea at the moment whether to get them something for preemies or just newborn.
7. I started putting together a list of phone calls/emails to make once the babies are born, but I need to finish it.
8. Finish packing hospital bag.
9. We need to look into putting a will together.

Also this week, both my mom and dad got to watch Apple and Banana show off for them with various body parts poking out of my belly, gliding or tumbling across it. They have periods most days where they are very active, although it is usually still difficult for me to tell which baby is moving when.

Hey, when people tell you that you look great when you're pregnant, do they really think so? Or is that just what you say to a pregnant lady? There was a time there that I didn't think I'd get to see what I look like 32 weeks pregnant. This is so cool. Each additional week is a small victory and the next major goal is 34 weeks. Here's what the belly looks like today. I've included a picture with a shirt over the belly this time because I think it looks totally fake, like I stuffed a round beach ball under my shirt!

32 Weeks

Hell yeah.

Fascinating

While at home on bedrest, no matter how much you try to do some work, read, be productive, etc., you will stumble upon some amount of daytime tv. I caught the beginning of this gem yesterday and just-could-not-look-away...

Press pause on the music player to the right to get the full effect.

(sorry for the poor quality, the better versions had the embed feature disabled)

I Almost Didn't Even Notice

My little Freezer Buns blog was born a year ago today.  At the time, our first FET had just been cancelled after two postponements and a cancelled fresh IVF cycle.  I had an "irregularity" in my lining and was waiting for a D&C to clear it out and make sure it was nothing concerning.  It turned out to be nothing.  But it was a dark time for me.  It was just before the holidays and it cast a shadow for me over all of our holiday celebrations.

Fast forward a year and look where we are.  I'm 31 weeks (I'm too superstitious to round up here) pregnant with boy/girl twins. Our family and friends are supportive and excited for us.  We have a lot to be thankful for this year.  It hasn't been easy getting to this point.  If I had any say in the matter, we would have been pregnant with (or even have) our second child by now.  But it obviously doesn't work that way. I am happy to be where we are now. And I'm holding my breath that things will go well and these babies will not arrive before they are ready.

Soon I will be creating a new blog. I want to continue to blog once Apple and Banana are born, but it doesn't seem right to continue in this space that was dedicated to getting them here safely. Plus I would like to post pictures as they grow and I don't want to have those pictures floating around in cyberspace without some control over who can view them. So my next blog will be invite only. Family and IRL friends will all get invites if you are interested. For my blogging buddies who I've "known" for awhile now, you will also be invited if you want. And for those lurkers out there (I know you're reading), I won't feel comfortable sending you an invite unless I have a chance to get to know you a bit first, so now is your chance to start commenting, etc. I will let you all know when the time comes to let me know you want an invite. It will likely be sometime shortly after Apple and Banana are born. Hopefully not for a number of weeks to come.

OB Appointment & New Belly Pix!

Had a regular OB appointment today (every Monday from now on). Nothing exciting. Here are the basics:

• Blood pressure 110/60
• Still gaining a bit of weight slowly--total weight gain of about 26 pounds
• Apple's heart rate at 145 and Banana's at 150
• Belly measuring 37cm (yeah, it was 39cm last Thursday)-I guess it is subjective and not all that accurate, or the babies might have moved positions a bit
• I saw the same doc today that I saw last Thursday and she asked if I "popped" over the weekend, apparently I look bigger!
• Apple's back or butt might be pressed up against the main ligament on the left that holds the uterus up causing the major tenderness I've been feeling
• Cervix still feels closed, thick and up high
• The OB could feel Apple's head, but she said it isn't pushing down and isn't in the birth canal yet, crazy how low she is
• No indication of how much longer we have.  I can't remember if I mentioned this before or not, but the doc mentioned that she's had patients who contract consistently for months and they worry about preterm labor and then they end up going full term and having to induce.

And for your viewing pleasure, here are some belly pix of someone close to me.  I think he felt left out because my belly was getting all of the attention.  Can you guess who it is?  Hint:  it isn't B.

Can I Complain a Little?

Our couch never used to be this uncomfortable. It must be me. No matter where I sit/lie or what position I'm in, I just can't get comfortable. My back is not happy. I've tried ice packs, taking baths, distracting myself with tv or a book. I can't focus on anything. The only true relief I'm finding is at night with my tyle.nol pm. And that only lasts for a couple hours.

I also have a very tender spot on my lower left abdomen. It is the spot that has hurt all along from round ligament pain. It is now tender to the touch and hurts with the slightest movement. Plus, Apple (I think) keeps kicking or hitting that spot from the inside and it is like a sharp jab from the inside.

I'm trying really hard to enjoy this time. The last weeks of having my babies inside me. I'm trying to enjoy the calm around me and be happy that I'm home. Really, I am. I'm just so damn uncomfortable. And the stupid bed rest exercises aren't doing anything to relieve the feeling that I just need to MOVE.