You know how smell is so strongly linked to memory? A single whiff of a certain smell can bring back a day 10 years ago with such clarity you feel like you're there. I had one of those moments this morning. Although the memory isn't from nearly that long ago and it isn't one specific memory, but rather an entire section of time in my life.
I woke up this morning fresh from a dream of spotting. In my dream, I was spotting pink and waiting for a call back from the OB. I was worried, close to panic. I was also supposed to go perform a floor routine in a gymnastics meet and my old coach was annoyed with me for delaying. I could see the red starting to creep up his neck. I was trying to explain to him how NOT RIGHT spotting is at 24 weeks into a pregnancy. In the (no) logic of dreams, it didn't seem to matter that I was going to tumble while 24 weeks pregnant. Go figure.
When I woke up, I ran (okay, waddled) to the bathroom and was relieved to find NO spotting whatsoever. I went back to sleep for a couple of minutes and B woke me up with donuts and juice in bed. Do I have the best husband or what? This completely rid my mind of the lingering disturbance of my dream. I ate, showered and got dressed in the slow, clumsy fashion that is my reality these days.
As I put my watch and rings on, I casually grabbed a bottle of scented lotion on the dresser and rubbed the lotion on my hands. And immediately, it felt like I should be doing a shot of Me.nopur, or feeling the stick of a PIO shot. I guess I haven't opened that lotion in at least 4 or 5 months. The smell immediately brought back the FEELING and EMOTION of dealing with all of the shots and disappointments of the past 2.5 years. I looked down at my ever-expanding waistline and my brain tried to meld my realities together. The reality of the past pain and disappointment, the reality of my current fear and excitement, and the reality of these two lives that we are already so attached to and how close they are to joining our family. There must have been a crack in the space-time continuum (yes, I'm a child of the 80's).
Do you ever have a smell or an object bring a rush of memory to the surface? Does that memory linger with you or are you able to brush it off?
I think I'm going to go wash my hands.
Week 24 belly shots below. Sorry for the belly bra, but once it is on for the day, it doesn't come off until the evening.
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