Sunday, September 28, 2008

The Smell of Memory (and 24w2d)

You know how smell is so strongly linked to memory? A single whiff of a certain smell can bring back a day 10 years ago with such clarity you feel like you're there. I had one of those moments this morning. Although the memory isn't from nearly that long ago and it isn't one specific memory, but rather an entire section of time in my life.

I woke up this morning fresh from a dream of spotting. In my dream, I was spotting pink and waiting for a call back from the OB. I was worried, close to panic. I was also supposed to go perform a floor routine in a gymnastics meet and my old coach was annoyed with me for delaying. I could see the red starting to creep up his neck. I was trying to explain to him how NOT RIGHT spotting is at 24 weeks into a pregnancy. In the (no) logic of dreams, it didn't seem to matter that I was going to tumble while 24 weeks pregnant. Go figure.

When I woke up, I ran (okay, waddled) to the bathroom and was relieved to find NO spotting whatsoever. I went back to sleep for a couple of minutes and B woke me up with donuts and juice in bed. Do I have the best husband or what? This completely rid my mind of the lingering disturbance of my dream. I ate, showered and got dressed in the slow, clumsy fashion that is my reality these days.

As I put my watch and rings on, I casually grabbed a bottle of scented lotion on the dresser and rubbed the lotion on my hands. And immediately, it felt like I should be doing a shot of Me.nopur, or feeling the stick of a PIO shot. I guess I haven't opened that lotion in at least 4 or 5 months. The smell immediately brought back the FEELING and EMOTION of dealing with all of the shots and disappointments of the past 2.5 years. I looked down at my ever-expanding waistline and my brain tried to meld my realities together. The reality of the past pain and disappointment, the reality of my current fear and excitement, and the reality of these two lives that we are already so attached to and how close they are to joining our family. There must have been a crack in the space-time continuum (yes, I'm a child of the 80's).

Do you ever have a smell or an object bring a rush of memory to the surface? Does that memory linger with you or are you able to brush it off?

I think I'm going to go wash my hands.


Week 24 belly shots below. Sorry for the belly bra, but once it is on for the day, it doesn't come off until the evening.


BB and MTB said...

I have a body spray from Bath and Body Works that I used for the first time in Paris on our honeymoon. They later discontinued the scent, but I have one bottle left and only wear it occasionally. Everytime I smell it, I think, "this is what Paris smells like." I love it!

Love the belly!!

Rhonda said...

i love the pix of the babies!!!

hope to see you soon.

Gibson Twins said...

What a beautiful belly! Those babies are growing so well!!

The scent of certain perfumes I have take me back to my high school/college years and I admit I love it! The scent of fall gets me too, although I could not pinpoint anything specific about it. Weird...

s.e. said...

My husband just had this smell conversation this morning.

The weirdest one I had...I did my student teaching in the grade school I grew up in. I walked in the door and the scent completely took me back in childhood.

Too bad you can't erase the memories of shooting up and all that is attached to that. And I am sure you are not waddling yet!

shawna said...

I just wanted to get some information about the belly brace. When did you start using it? Does it really help alot? Did insurance pay for it, but chance?
Sorry for all of the questions. I am just not sure how I am going to survive the next few months without doing something.

Shinejil said...

There are certain smells that remind me of childhood summers in Maine. There are also smells that take me powerfully back to hallways in Eastern European libraries, which all seem to have a peculiar and surprisingly not that unpleasant scent.

Though there's a lot of suffering that lotion uncovered, there's a lot of wisdom in connecting with it. It's part of your life, and I bet it will enrich your experience as a parent.

Rebecca said...

Wow...that's something to think about. I think the smell of an alcohol swab makes me think of all of the shots that I took...I think of it every time I get my blood drawn or anything. Funny...the hard rain around here lately made me think of a time early in my pregnancy when I was spotting and needed to rush to the doctor...freaky! You look great! Wish I had one of those Belly Bras!

nancy said...

Yup - I get that smell recognition thing all the time.

And may I say how freaking HOT you look in that belly bra?

Meg said...

I also posted about how the smell and feel of fall was tough for me this weekend. It is amazing isn't it how quickly our senses can bring us back to a place.

Donuts and juice! I am setting up camp at your place if I ever get pregnant!

Amanda said...

Since I've gotten pregnant I don't think any smells have reminded me of anything other than my nausea. Haha! But usually it happens all the time. The smell of stale cigarette smoke and cheap aftershave always reminds me of my Grandpa (sorry Grandpa, but you did wear cheap aftershave).

I love the brace! Where did you get it? How well does it work? Was it worth the price? How comfortable is it?

Antigone said...

It's sooo amazing to think of what's inside that belly. I keep staring at mine in car window reflections and storefronts. Just in utter shock.