I Almost Didn't Even Notice

My little Freezer Buns blog was born a year ago today.  At the time, our first FET had just been cancelled after two postponements and a cancelled fresh IVF cycle.  I had an "irregularity" in my lining and was waiting for a D&C to clear it out and make sure it was nothing concerning.  It turned out to be nothing.  But it was a dark time for me.  It was just before the holidays and it cast a shadow for me over all of our holiday celebrations.

Fast forward a year and look where we are.  I'm 31 weeks (I'm too superstitious to round up here) pregnant with boy/girl twins. Our family and friends are supportive and excited for us.  We have a lot to be thankful for this year.  It hasn't been easy getting to this point.  If I had any say in the matter, we would have been pregnant with (or even have) our second child by now.  But it obviously doesn't work that way. I am happy to be where we are now. And I'm holding my breath that things will go well and these babies will not arrive before they are ready.

Soon I will be creating a new blog. I want to continue to blog once Apple and Banana are born, but it doesn't seem right to continue in this space that was dedicated to getting them here safely. Plus I would like to post pictures as they grow and I don't want to have those pictures floating around in cyberspace without some control over who can view them. So my next blog will be invite only. Family and IRL friends will all get invites if you are interested. For my blogging buddies who I've "known" for awhile now, you will also be invited if you want. And for those lurkers out there (I know you're reading), I won't feel comfortable sending you an invite unless I have a chance to get to know you a bit first, so now is your chance to start commenting, etc. I will let you all know when the time comes to let me know you want an invite. It will likely be sometime shortly after Apple and Banana are born. Hopefully not for a number of weeks to come.

Another Anniversary

I have scheduled my post-op appointment for Monday morning, but I really have no idea what this entails. I suppose it is just a quick check from the doc to give us the go ahead to start our next cycle when AF decides to arrive.

I am exhausted from my first full day back at work. I have to work this weekend because we have two HUGE transactions closing next week. I really can't wait for next week to be over.

Next week also marks my third anniversary with my current employer. It is ridiculous to think about this now, but three years ago we were concerned about waiting to try to get pregnant for awhile so that I would hit my 2 year anniversary at work right before the first kid was born. At the 2 year mark, the maternity benefits at my work go from crappy to pretty darn good. It really seems stupid that we were concerned about this, but hindsight is 20/20, right?

I've been noticing this week that the two women in my department who are currently pregnant are chatting quite a bit more than they used to. Of course it may just be my uber-sensitivity kicking in and things are no different than they used to be, but it really seems to me like they have a lot more to chat about these days. I pass by them in the halls and imagine them comparing pregnancy symptoms, plans for nurseries, baby names (and on and on and on). It is just another reminder (multiple times a day) that I haven't been accepted into this club that I so want to be a member of. I've submitted my application so many times, each time filling it out more carefully, just to be rejected again. I just hope there's no limit on how many times we can apply. Oh, and I hope the person making the admittance decisions gets fired and replaced with my mom (she would definitely let us in).

On another note, one of my friends just gave birth to beautiful twin girls at 32 weeks yesterday (as some of you reading this already know). I called the husband last night to congratulate them and even while they are going through this really scary time, he still found time to express how they are pulling for us and how they know what we are going through must be really hard. It meant a lot to me. Our friends rock.

Good News (not great, but good)

I made it into work for about 4 hours today, which is progress. Starting to feel less dizzy and shaky, but now I'm achy and crampy. It's always something isn't it? We did get the results from pathology today and there was nothing abnormal in the endometrial lining tissue. Just "normal" endometrial hyperplasia. So the good news is, I don't have cancer or anything like that. The bad news is they don't have any idea what caused the abnormal lining. Let's just hope it doesn't happen again. So the waiting continues-we will sit here and twiddle our thumbs until AF arrives to start another cycle.

Other than that, not much going on with us. Today is B's birthday, but he doesn't want to do anything to celebrate. Can't say I blame him. It sucks getting older knowing that the clock is ticking and that it is just yet another milestone passing while we are still childless. Of course, he probably doesn't see it that way at all-he's not a big birthday person to begin with. It's just my negative thoughts creeping in.