There are so many thoughts swirling around my head these days. I am still having trouble picturing how this is going to work. What will labor be like? Will I be able to push BOTH babies out without needing a c-section? How are the dogs going to react to the babies? What will our lives be like next week? I'm still having trouble believing that we are really here. If you had asked me 7 weeks ago, I never would have believed we'd make it past 36 weeks.
The labor part has been on my mind the most the past couple of days. I've had ample opportunity to watch all of the birthing shows on Disc.overy Health and TLC and not ONE of them has shown a vaginal twin birth. What's up with that? I know they happen. It isn't THAT rare. I have to keep reminding myself every time I watch one of those shows, that I'll have to do the pushing part twice and then worry about two babies when they come out, not one. I know once Apple comes out, it should be easier to get Banana out, but this may not necessarily be the case. The cervix can actually close up. And since Banana is likely bigger, there would still be potential for more pain and tearing, etc.
The time in between the babies' births is actually the most dangerous part for Banana. He can easily go into distress because of the drastic change of pressure in the uterus or he could flip around into some other position that would require a c-section. After. A. Vaginal. Birth. This would be a bad scenario. Not one I want to even contemplate. And I can't even picture what it will be like once Apple is out and I'm focused on her, but still have to push Banana out. Uggh. I know there's no point in worrying about it now. I have no control over it and I know my doctor will do everything she can to get us all through this healthy and happy.
It is also bothering me that we will have to deliver in a sterile, uncomfortable operating room on a table instead of an L&D bed. With about 10 people in the room. I knew this would be the case pretty early on, but I'm just now starting to think about it and I guess I shouldn't. I know it is for the safety of me and the babies, but it just isn't the ideal environment for a "comfortable" birth.
I'm also annoyed that I still have this stupid rash. I'm sure once I'm in labor I'll forget about it, but part of me can't help wondering if I'll just be focused on both pain and itching. Is that possible? Again, something I'm worried about that I have no control over. Sensing a theme here? Then, there's the breast feeding question. Will I be able to nurse two babies and actually manage to not starve them? I am resigned to supplementing with formula, but I hope I'll be able to at least experience nursing and give the babies as much benefit as I can from breast milk.
Other than my mind racing with all of these thoughts, we are pretty much ready. The nursery is set up, for the most part. B hooked up our fancy video monitor with 2 cameras this morning so we can see both cribs. The car seat bases were installed and checked by our local fire department. We have take home outfits for the babies, although we have no idea if they will fit. My hospital bag is packed along with our "media" bag that holds the camera, video camera, and a laptop. My ipod is loaded with tons of music and the headphones just need one last charge. Our doula is on notice.
All that is left is for B to pack a change of clothes and some snacks for himself and a bag for the dogs. The dogs are now going to the kennel on Monday since we will be home tomorrow night. I would like to try to shave my legs tomorrow, but let's face it, that really isn't the most important thing. Oh, and we still have a couple of last minute holiday gifts to take care of before chaos hits.
We are actually going to try to go to a little holiday party with some friends tonight if I feel up to it. We've done this with this same group of friends for a number of years now and I would hate to miss it. Hopefully I'll have enough energy to go-even if it is only for half an hour. Our last hurrah as a childless couple.
Now if only I could wrap my brain around Monday and what will come after!