Friday, February 29, 2008

It's a Bust

No change in my lining. The tech even had trouble measuring because it is so thin. So much for our natural cycle. My body, the traitor. Just waiting for the nurse to call this afternoon with the recommendation from the doctor, but we all know the answer. The real question is what he will recommend going forward.

No matter how hard I try to prepare myself for these let downs, I still can't control my emotions. I didn't go into the office because I couldn't stop the tears. So now I'm at my parent's house, hanging out with my mom and trying to think of some way to distract myself from all of this.

At least it is sunny and warm outside.

Unlike my dark, barren uterus.

Today's Tune had to be a Cure song.

18 comments:

Mrs.X said...

I'm so sorry. The repeated disappointments are so hard (especially so close to each other). Have you given some thought to maybe taking a few months off from infertility? I know when I have had a month or two off, I've felt a lot better about jumping back in. Take the time to focus on you, your marriage, etc. Think about it.

Jen said...

I just don't know what to say other than I'm sorry and this sucks.

I just hope that the doc has some great advice, some great suggestions, some great something. You've been jerked around far too much too often.

And crying is totally acceptable and justified.

Melanie said...

Oh, Denise. I'm so sorry. The hits seem like they just keep coming. Traitorous bitch of a lining.

Please take my assvice for what it is, but have you done the IM shots of estrogen? It made a difference for me with my lining this last time.

Are you going to meet with your RE about next steps?

shinejil said...

I, too, am so very sorry. That's really all I can say.

Maria said...

Oh Denise, I'm so truly sorry. This is such a shitty thing to happen to such a sweet and wonderful person. Cry all you want and let your mom comfort you.

I really hope that your dr has something good for you. You really deserve some good news.

Love The Cure and I don't think I've ever heard that song before.

Io said...

Denise, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say other than that.

Duck said...

I wish there was an answer, some magic make the uterus behave and act like a uterus answer. My heart goes out to you.

Lori said...

Denise, there are no words. I'm sorry you're faced with this.

Too bad you can't really click for The Cure, huh?

PJ said...

I'm so sorry. I started to go on this rant about how HORRIBLY unfair it is that crack whores can get pregnant, and people whom you know would be fantastic moms can't. That's probably not helpful at all. I just hate the unfairness of it all.

Hugs

Magellan said...

Dude, sorry to hear about your results. Cry it out, just cry it out.....

HeidiM said...

I'm so so sorry to hear this news. Seems like these docs should be able to help more effectively but so much is out of their (and our) control, it's incredibly frustrating.

Meg said...

Dammit. Denise, I am so sorry. This really sucks and I cannot even begin to wrap my brain around all of your setbacks.

Why is it that some bodies just do not work as planned?

Spicy Sister said...

I hate that this is happening for you. I am so sorry and I just hope there is some good news down the road....but not too far away. The uncertainty and the disappointment are just heart-wrenching. My heart goes out to you sweetie. ((((hugs))))

nancy said...

Oh damn it. Damn stupid thin lining! Damn Damn Damn.

I'm a crappy lining maker myself - always having to take estrace to get the minimum to grow. I would most likely get cancelled on a natural cycle too. I just can't grow the stuff. Is that why I've got a green thumb? I can grow things outside my body, but leave me up to growing my own lining and I suck? Honestly, I'd rather kill some plants.

The disappointment of a cancelled cycle is hardcore. We want to say "well, it wouldn't of been the best environment to grow a baby in" but face it - we're pissed about it. Nothing will make it better. Going out to dinner and having a nice night with the hubby just is a distraction. Everything until the next cycle will just be a distraction. The good thing is, there will be a next cycle and the pissedoffness of this cycle will disappear.

The good thing is you won't have to wait long for a next cycle, as you weren't on drugs that you'll have to let chill. Not that this piece of info makes it ANY better, just that the whole idea of having to wait until next cycle to stop being disappointed won't be as long.

I'm really sorry Denise. The sweaty monkey assholes are making their way into my vocabulary again.

IVFer said...

this ivf/fet struggles are such dampers in life. i wish u all best..

Optimistic said...

I'm so sorry about this! This just sucks. I hope the dr. has some answers for you..

Ahuva Batya said...

Denise, I'm sorry I am late responding to this. I can feel your pain and disappointment, and it is so unfair. I hope you are taking care of yourself. There will be light, surely, coming from around the corner any minute.

M said...

I'm very, very sorry you're lining isn't cooperating. I wish I could help cheer you up. I hope at least you were able to rest at your parents. See my blog for a success story. They always make me feel a little better. Big hug to you.