Can you tell I'm getting anxious?
I'm looking forward to a little distraction. Tomorrow night is our first official HOA meeting for our neighborhood and rumor has it there are bound to be some fireworks. I'm a little nervous about meeting some the neighbors we haven't met yet and answering the inevitable kid questions. B and I have already agreed to just be upfront with people. I'll let you now how that goes.
We had our second appointment with Sage tonight. We talked about many things, but she also walked us through a guided meditation exercise meant to help me relax and even out my moods (close your eyes, relax each body part starting with toes and moving up the body, clear mind, visualize yourself in a peaceful, calm, safe place, etc.). Two things took me by surprise. First, B managed to get through the whole thing without bursting out laughing (which is what I truly expected him to do).
Second, I was surprised to find tears streaming down my face when we got to the visualization part. Apparently, I can't find a safe place in my mind because my defective body will follow me anywhere. I panicked. Spent the rest of the time trying to picture myself on the beach in Hawaii sipping a Mai Tai and reading a book, but the tears just kept on coming. Don't know what it is about Sage and the tears. Two sessions and I've pretty much spent the whole hour each time crying through the discussion.
Having trouble falling asleep tonight, so I've been playing around a bit and added a mini pod to my blog. The first tune is one I haven't heard in a really long time. A couple of days ago I woke up in the middle of a dream and remembered nothing except for this song. It stuck with me for days-such a great happy song.
#MicroblogMondays 148: Alice
55 minutes ago