Sunday, January 6, 2008

Greeting Cards

Yesterday I found myself in front of that section of the greeting cards that infertiles hate. The baby section. Not to mention I was in the store where all the babies congregate (Target). B and I were picking out a new baby card for some friends of ours and it wasn't bad at all because we were actually happy for these friends. *I should edit that to add that B is always happy for whichever friend or family member gets pregnant. I, on the other hand, move quickly between happy, envious, angry, sad, and back again.

I picked up one card and was shocked to see these words "We're Expecting!" I had no idea they made cards for people to announce a pregnancy. I guess it makes sense because most normal people get to announce a pregnancy in some fashion to the family and friends with nothing but excitement and maybe a little nervousness. This is something that being infertile robs you of. Even when you do achieve that blessed state of pregnancy, you're always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting to be told it was a mistake, just kidding, waiting for something to go wrong. After all, nothing has been easy in this process, so why should that change?

I admit that I don't know this from experience, but rather from my fellow bloggers who have actually been there. But I can understand how this happens. Because even when a cycle seems to be going as smooth as can be, you are still wondering what will go wrong next. I just can't imagine finally getting pregnant and being willing to jinx it all by sending out an announcement. On paper! Superstitious much?

Here is an update on the peace lily, the flower is actually starting to open:


Rebecca said...

Why do so many people bring their kids to Target? There should be a kid-free zone that you can go and there won't be any kids there ;) It is weird not feeling secure enough to announce your pregnancy, but hopefully this fear will go away someday and we'll actually be able to trust our bodies - maybe not. It's been the biggest mind-f*** of my life!

Io said...

Perhaps they could make a "We're trying to ttc and it's not working so stop saying insensitive things to me' card. Whadda ya think? Should we pitch the idea to H*llmark?

Greg said...

Hey D - long time reader first time commenter. Just letting you know that I've got all appendages crossed for you. Clara and Evelyn even crossed their cords about 20 times - just for you!

I can relate to the feeling happy, envious, angry, sad, and back again as Kristina and I went through plenty of that. You want to be the bigger person and just stay happy for people, but you just can't.

Maria said...

Ugh, it's funny how much I'm already worrying about that. If IVF works, my mind is already convinced that something else will go wrong. And why shouldn't it. Just look at my track record.

Your lily is looking great!

LOL, I love io's comment!!

Duck said...

I'm always a little uncomfortable when people announce that they are pg (i;m also angry, sad, mad with envy, and sometimes happy). I always try to hold back from saying "are you crazy - you're only 8 weeks pg, you can't go around telling people - you will jinx everything".
Good luck with this cycle, 2008 is our year!

Io said...

So I decided I had to look - they don't have infertility greeting cards, but when I searched I did find their "J*urney's encouragement cards" that they say are great for any situation:
"Cancer. Miscarriage. Depression. Addiction. Job loss. Coming out."
Then they have a long list below it that includes infertility and "Thanking a hospice worker or organ donor's family."

A little all-encompassing, huh? Maybe we *should* pitch this to H*llmark...

Angela said...

Great post!

I love the lily. So beautiful...

I avoid Target at all costs. Every time I go in there, there are so many children and babies. WTF? The all-time-worst-ever experience I ever had at Target (and the last time I was there) was when I was depressingly buying a baby gift and card for a friend who got pregnant on her first try. In line, I ran into a friend from college, who was with her infant and was six months pregnant. She then proceeded to tell me about another mutual acquaintance who was expecting. OK, by the time I left, I seriously wanted to slit my writs (I didn't).

Having had a miscarriage (actually, ectopic pregnancy), and being sensitive about how pregnancy news affects people who are trying to conceive, I personally would not send the "we're expecting!" cards. I'm like you - I'd be too superstitious. And anyone who mattered would hear about it from me in person.

But I love io's idea about pitching TTC/infertility cards to Hallmark. How about "We just had our first failed IVF!" This is what I should be sending out now. Homemade cards would be even prettier!

- Angela

Kristina said...

Pregnancy announcement cards are clearly for the naive. Just think of anyone buying them as uniformed and (that's right, I'll say it) stupid.

Keep up the strength.