Sunday, December 2, 2007

The Sunday Blues

I hate Sunday nights.  I've hated them since school days when I would dread having to go back to school Monday morning.  It wasn't because I hadn't done my homework (usually).  It was just that the freedom of the weekend was gone and I was now subject to the structure of responsibility and the clock.  Not much has changed.  Now I dread going back to work Monday morning-not because I don't have my work done (usually).  But the freedom of the weekend is gone, again.

This Sunday is worse.  Maybe it's because we spent a carefree weekend in the mountains with no schedule other than a dinner reservation.  The snowstorm didn't bother us (the dogs were kenneled and we didn't have deal with snowy, icy walks), we didn't have access to the internet, we didn't have to check our blackberry's, and our phones hardly ever rang.    As we drove home from the mountains this morning, I could feel my mood slowly shifting.  As much as I love our house, it was depressing to come back home to unfinished holiday projects, laundry, responsibility and the calendar.  Maybe this Sunday is worse because this weekend was blissfully free of infertility reminders.  Sure we saw an occasional kid or two here and there, but they just don't seem as widespread in the mountains (at least not in the bars!).  Or maybe this Sunday is worse because my schedule shows a work week full of meetings that will keep me from getting the rest of my work done.  It is only the second day of December and it feels like year-end is rushing towards me like a freight train.

And yet time is also creeping by every so slowly (how is that possible?).  It has been over two weeks now since our last cycle was cancelled.  Two long, long weeks.  And there is another full week to go before our next step (the D&C).  I am still waiting for AF to show.  She is delayed for some reason, maybe the airline lost her luggage or maybe she ran out of gas and missed her flight.  Either way, I wish she would hurry.  The RE said the D&C will not change my cycle at all.  We can start the next FET with the first AF after the D&C.  I highly doubt AF will wait a whole extra week before showing (wouldn't that be great?), so I really just wish she'd arrive now to bring the next time that much closer.  COME ON ALREADY!!!

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