Wednesday, November 28, 2007

"Infertile. Please be sensitive."

I've been staying away from my blog the last two days mostly because work has kept me really busy and I honestly haven't thought about it too much (too much is a relative term). That is until this afternoon when I showed up for my dentist appointment and there was the hygienist freshly back from her maternity leave with brand new baby pictures all over her work station. Lovely. She also looked about 10 years younger than me (or maybe that's just my bitter brain at work).

She asked if I've had any health changes since my last cleaning and as I answered "no," I couldn't help but think that my last cleaning was 6 months ago and not much has changed since then (or, come to think about it, since the one prior to that a year ago). Sure, we've moved on to IVF and have 18 embies on ice, but we're still not pregnant. We still have not had a chance to get pregnant since we started IVF and we still don't have any answers as to why this is.

The experience was topped off with a fun discussion as I was getting up out of the chair to leave:

The Hygienist: So are you doing anything tonight?
Me: Not really, just going to go work out and then probably do some work.
Her: Oh, I can never find time to work out and I really need to lose this pregnancy weight. Do YOU have kids?
Me: No. (bite my tongue and hold back a million things I want to say but I know it wouldn't be fair to her)
Her: I just never seem to have any time now that I have a BABY! just exhausts me. Yet another circumstance of someone meaning absolutely no harm and, yet, having no clue how much their words hurt. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I walked around with a hat or a tattoo on my forehead that says "Infertile. Please be sensitive."

Here's the good news-my teeth are clean and no cavities. At least one part of my body is doing the right thing.


Jenna said...

NO cavities??? That great news. I swear, I have more fillings than teeth. It's sickening.

I'm sorry it was a rough experience though. Not good. Those moments seem to come from nowhere sometimes.

chicklet said...

They getcha no matter where you go... You can't get away, ever!