Saturday, November 24, 2007

Evil B*tch Goes out to Lunch

B and I spent most of the day yesterday shopping for ornaments and other fun Christmas decor for the HUGE fake tree we bought on December 26th last year.  We put on Christmas music and proceeded to hang approximately 200 glass ornaments on the tree, wind garland around the banister, hang stockings, etc., etc.  B said he's never seen a Jew get so excited about Christmas (I'll save the explanation of this for another post at another time).

We were having a grand ole time and felt like we really accomplished something when it was all said and done.  At the end of the night, we sat on the couch and admired the tree in silence.  This is when the evil b*tch invades my head.  I'll call her EB for short.

One minute I'm thinking how completely content I am and how cozy the house feels with all the decorations and the next...well, I'm sure you can guess.  EB takes over and I was thinking about how my transfer should have been done already, I should have completed my bed rest and had a very relaxing week and we should be sitting on the couch, admiring the tree, AND hoping against hope that the FET actually worked.

Surprisingly, I was able to sleep last night even with these thoughts, but when I woke up, EB was not gone and, in fact, had taken up full residency in my head.  B has learned enough by now to know that I'm not mad at him or something he's done, but really just MAD.  I've never felt anger like this in my life--anger that just sneaks up on me, triggered by nothing and lingers on and on.  Luckily I had a lunch set up with Mama Wannabe and had something for both B and I to look forward to (a fun bitch session for me, and me out of the house for awhile for him).  It was a great 3 hour (!) lunch and was enough to shove EB back into the shadows for awhile.  Thanks Mama Wannabe!

1 comment:

HeidiM said...

Hi Denise! I had some time to catch up on your new blog tonight, I love it, you have a great sense of humor! I can totally relate to the EB, mine surfaces due to IVF insecurities. To get rid of mine, I go downstairs to our "fireplace room" and lay on a bunch of giant pillows and close my eyes and listen to music. It's kind of like melting the wicked witch by throwing water on her, but less messy! =)