I started yesterday's post intending to write about how I feel that this process has aged me-mentally and physically-and it ended up turning into a completely different, but slightly related post. I've been wondering a lot lately if people notice more lines on my face, less elasticity in my skin, droopier eyes. Do I look more tired than I used to? I sure FEEL like I LOOK more tired. What's that saying about how you are only as old as you feel? Well I feel ancient lately.
This is not the sort of feeling and energy level that I need going into this IVF cycle. Hell, I don't need this feeling at all, and it just makes me feel more tired thinking about what is to come. Must. Muster. Energy. The first definition of "fatigue" on dictionary.com is: weariness from bodily or mental exertion. Huh. Mental Exertion. I guess you could say I've done A LOT of that over the last 7 months or so.
The last couple of days, frustration has set in. It is killing me not knowing what the timing of B's surgery will be. He called to make an appointment with a surgeon that was recommended to us and was told he couldn't get in for a consult until April 24th. So he is going to try to make an appointment with the surgeon his doctor recommended to see if he can get in sooner. Either way, he was hoping he could get in and get the surgery done ASAP so that he would be healed and ready to go in time for the retrieval (April 23rd). I don't know what the chances are of that happening. I'm a little worried about recovery time also. But I don't think he can wait another month.
I think I will call the nurse tomorrow and ask what using frozen sperm will do to our chances. I just need someone to put my mind to rest that this won't require us to push everything back by a month. And I need to know before I start my shots on Thursday.
Today is the last day of the photo journal challenge. It has been fun and challenging. I am almost completely out of ideas of what to post. Since I just finally loaded our wedding pictures to our (sort of) new computer, I thought I'd leave you with some pictures from our wedding day (all courtesy of photojournalist Jeff Poucher). It was a freezing, soggy day in July 2004. The picture with all the chairs set up is so cool, but we ended up having to move the ceremony inside. I'm pretty sure there were at least 2 people who told me that rain on your wedding day is a sign of fertility. Hah, were they wrong!
10 hours ago