We have an ultrasound scheduled at 3pm tomorrow. Why, you ask? We haven't even started this cycle yet. Did I mistake some harmless spotting for AF last week and just found out that I'm the "P" word? Umm, no.
Actually, the ultrasound is for B. After all of the ultrasounds I've had over the past 2 years, we just figured it was his turn. But really, we think he has a hernia. Yes, a hernia, that most likely would require surgery. So we wait for the results of the ultrasound and for his doctor to call and then refer him to a specialist. And in the meantime, we are left to wonder how this little glitch in our plans will affect this cycle. It all depends on if B needs surgery and the timing of it all.
So of the million things racing through my head now, here are just a couple: If he has the surgery before my retrieval, will he be healed enough to "perform?" Will the surgery itself impair his ability to donate because they accidentally cut a tube (this is one of the risks of the surgery)? If he waits to have the surgery, will he be in pain for the next month? If we have him donate a sample ahead of time and have them freeze it, will this compromise our chance of success? Will we have to postpone another cycle and wait another month?
The problem with all of these questions is that they can't even be discussed until we have confirmation of the diagnosis and an idea of timing. And I am to start Lu.pron next Thursday which means I need my meds ordered NOW. So I guess I'll be getting my meds regardless of whether or not we move forward with this cycle. We will do what is best for B's health first of course. I just can't help but worry that this is going to derail our cycle before we even get started.
Not that this is my only worry. I am a bit worried about this new protocol. I confirmed that the 75u of Gon.al F is 1/2 the dosage they started me on last time. I hope it is the right dosage for me. I am paranoid that my lining will not cooperate. Just because it was good during the last fresh cycle doesn't mean it will be good the next time. I mean, something has to go wrong, right?
One other item of information that is making me worry came to my attention today. Apparently, while I was off work last week (actually on vacation this time), my boss's boss asked where I was and how much time off I've been taking. I guess I wasn't flying as low under the radar as I thought. Knowing that he has noticed, well, it makes me really nervous. I am debating whether I should have a conversation with him and let him know what is going on. I haven't been abusing any policies or anything like that, but it still just makes me nervous for some reason.
I know, I'm being negative tonight, but I can't help it. Sorry for being such a downer.
No Woman is an Island
23 hours ago