Thursday, May 8, 2008

It's Officially Official (P Word Mentioned)

I'm PREGNANT!!!!!

And in shock. Someone pinch me.

First beta HCG today at 14dpo was a whopping 445! They like it to be over 50. Progesterone should be over 20 and mine is at 60. These little embryos (I need to think of something else to call them-suggestions are welcome) are definitely over-achievers right now! I hope this gives the other U.O.D. (uterus of doom) ladies with thin linings some hope as my lining never got above 7 this cycle. Don't ever let an RE tell you 7 is too thin if it looks consistent and has a triple pattern!

It is still very early (I am considered 4 weeks pregnant today). Anything can still happen, so we are celebrating quietly and humbly.

We were originally going to wait until the 2nd blood test to tell people, but we just couldn't wait. I feel like shouting out from a rooftop "I'M PREGNANT, WORLD!" You see, I've been hiding something from you, dear readers. Tuesday morning, I gave in to impulse and, well, for the FIRST TIME EVER ladies and gentlemen, 2 gorgeous pink lines! See...
















And then I started spotting again Tuesday night. So I HAD to POAS again on Wednesday morning. See...

















And of course, I was still spotting and the line didn't get darker and I was sure it was ever so slightly lighter than Tuesday and that is when I officially started obsessing thinking just my luck, I'm going to miscarry my very first pregnancy ever really early. So this morning...

















The line is DEFINITELY darker. Here is a picture of all three sticks together.
















Enough pictures of pee sticks for you?

So, the next step is a second blood test on Saturday. We have a target HCG number of 739 (66% increase from today's number). Although, if the number doesn't quite rise that much, we shouldn't be TOO concerned as it is possible that there are currently two growing inside me and one may not make it to Saturday. We'll take one. Or two. Either way. I just can't believe I'm finally pregnant. Have I mentioned that yet? I'm pregnant. I don't think it has quite sunk in yet.

In going through this journey, there have been many losses to mourn. The loss of our ability to conceive on our own, the loss of expectations, the loss of an expected timeline, loss of control. The list goes on and on. One of the losses that was most difficult to swallow was being able to surprise our families and friends with news of a pregnancy. To be able to impart the news and get shocked, happy faces/voices in return. To find some creative way to tell our families. To be the source of happy tears and celebrations instead of worry, depression and pain.

Turns out, we didn't really have to mourn this particular loss at all. Telling our friends and families today has been the most rewarding, fun experience. In some ways, I think it is even better than it would have been had we conceived naturally right away because everyone is just so darn excited! And this excitement is so contagious. We are trying to keep it under control because, again, it is very early. No person in their right mind would ever tell their family and friends about a pregnancy that was only 4 weeks along. But our family and friends have been following every step for months or years.

We are taking a bit of a risk here in sharing this amazing news right now, but it is something we knew we'd have to do once we gave people my blog address. Frankly, it is a risk I am so happy we took because no matter what happens, at least we get to spread some great joy for now. I wouldn't want to miss that for the world.

37 comments:

Spicy Sister said...

so beyond thrilled for you!!!!!! I am just so excited!

I know, it felt weird for us to tell so soon as well - but when you are doing IVF and you are out there like we are, you don't have much of a choice! :)

I am so glad that it was such a joyful experience that you got to share with your family today.

I hope we will have many exciting milestones to share in the 9 months to come. So thrilled you are here!

Rhonda said...

i sit here with tears streaming down my face wanting to shout it out to the world, too...but this is YOUR moment. i love being able to share in your excitement. this is truely a blessing and...well...WOW!

the biggest XOXOXOXOXOs i can offer.

Duck said...

Crying. I must have issues, but, I started crying when I read your post, I can't believe it, it worked it worked it really worked. It's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I think you have 2 in there. OMG, I can't wait to tell Mr. Duck. You give me hope.

Bengali Chick said...

I read your blog faithfully. I am so *siked* for you!!! Awesome news:) I hope this bean sticks!!!! I'm 6 1/2 weeks and still nervous (u/s coming up on Monday). But it feels so freaking good to poas and get a positive! Congrats!!!

annacyclopedia said...

EEEEEK! I'm so excited and thrilled for you! This is such wonderful news and I'm so glad you are enjoying every part of this experience. May the good news keep coming and may you have just enough morning sickness to keep your mind at ease about a healthy pregnancy! Yay!!!!

BB and MTB said...

Congratulations!!!!! I'll be checking back on you to see how you are doing!

Rhonda said...

i forgot to add:

YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Io said...

Oh my god! You're baking a/some bun(s) in your oven!
Those pink lines are GORGEOUS!
Good luck! I hope everything continues going well.

PJ said...

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! WOOHOOOOO! AWESOME!

So people really DO get pregnant this way, huh?!!!

I am so ridiculously happy for you!

So that was all implantation bleeding??? Wow! Who knew?

Again, YAY!

Alison said...

Oh wow!!!! You've got more than one in there, I just know it! So, so happy for you Denise!! You bring so many, including me, hope. YAY, freezer buns!

chicklet said...

That's really great, honestly. congrats:-)

Jen said...

Now I can say congratulations officially and out loud!

And I have to tell you, the picture of the third pee stick doesn't do it justice. This morning, in your purse, it appeared way darker.

Yay! I am so happy for you. And I am positive its twins in there.

Ms. J said...

Those lines are SO getting darker, LOL!

I am so flippin' happy for you, Sweetie!!!!!!!

Your numbers are AMAZING!!!

M said...

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congrats, Denise!!!!

JJ said...

Holy flippin sh**!! Pardon the french--but Im SO happy to see this--and what a fantastic beta!! There is some activity goin on in there!

Meg said...

So elated about this for you! Here's to happy sticky times....and it sure seems like maybe there are more than one. What a whammo number!

Miss Tori said...

Denise,

Yippee!!! Congrats to you and the mister. We'll be keeping my eye out for great updates!

Tori

luna said...

congrats, denise. I knew that was implantation bleeding!

Angela said...

I am so happy for you Denise. Thrilled, excited and soooo happy for you!!!

Crying here too. Thank you for sharing your wonderful news. I can't wait to see if there are 2 in there.

OMG!!!! Congratulations!

Lori said...

WOOOOO HOOOOOO!!

Was it something in the Taza coffee?

Amanda said...

i just checked in after being out of the loop this entire week to attempt to catch up. thank god i did! congrats! when i read your post, i started crying! i am so happy for you both. 1 million congrats!!! i look forward to catching up with you soon. take care,
Amanda

nancy said...

I'm glad you decided to tell everyone! :) (although loved the secret)!!

Again, congrats and lots and lots and lots of love!!! ~hugs~

Kristina said...

Congratulations!!! With numbers like those, it sounds like you'll be borrowing my twins book after all :)

We're very, very excited for you and I hope you can finally exhale a little bit.

shinejil said...

WHOOHOOO! I knew you'd get here, Denise. I just knew it. How great that spotting can sometimes mean good things! Yippie!

I am so very, very thrilled for you, and I'm sending out all my positive vibes for a lovely, uneventful pregnancy.

Valerie said...

Congratulations!

Maria said...

OH Denise, This is just the most wonderful news ever!! You deserve this so much!!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!

PS- You're giving me so much hope right now!! Thank you!

Melanie said...

A big fat Yippee! That's simply the best news. It's wonderful for you and wonderful for those of us searching for happy stories!

Carrie said...

You don't know me, but I've been reading your blog for several months now and have been checking it obsessively this week hoping for good news... Congratulations!!! We have just started with the RE and your blog has given me so much information (what to expect, physically and emotionally...) and encouragement - thank you for allowing us to take this journey with you. Can't wait to hear if you've got one or two buns in the oven! Again, congrats to you and your entire family. :-)

K said...

Denise, I am soooooo happy for you. Don't keep your happiness under your control. Celebrate! Like Jen said, I am sure you will have twins!

InfertileMyrtle said...

YAY!!!!!!!!! I am so thrilled and excited for you! Major congratulations! Plus, what a fabulous beta number.. I think it's twinnies!

Amy said...

Denise ~ I'm crying tears of joy for you! Congrats and here's to a healthy 9 months!

Carolyn said...

OMG!!!! And that is a KICK A** beta!! I am so happy!! How on earth did you manage to hold out when you saw two lines on Tuesday?!

Isn't seeing your first set of double lines fantastic?! I, like you had never, ever seen a hint of a second line. Oh, I am actually just BURSTING with joy over here! I know that sounds corny but I am!!!

mrsyak said...

OMG!!!! AMAZING!!! I wish I could call you on the phone and scream your ear off, I'm sooooo excited for you! YAY!!!!!! YAY!!!!! HOLY COW!!!! YAY!!!!! YAY!!!!! MAJOR, MAJOR CONGRATS!

~Carrie said...

Oh Denise that is so wonderful (to say the least)! I can't describe how happy I am for you right now. You've gone through so much - I was hoping that spotting was inplantation. YAY!! And with such a high beta - two little ones perhaps? Here, I'll pinch you.. *pinch pinch*

HeidiM said...

YIIIPPPPEEEE!!!!
THIS IS HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY NEWS!!!

That will teach me to stay out of the blogosphere for a day, I'm the last to find out!!

Give the belly a pat from me. =)

heather said...

yippeeee! i've been following your journal for awhile now :) Congrats!
heather (saltandpickles.com/journal)

sweetpeapod said...

I can't believe I just found out (hello, where have I been?!) about your officially fantastically spectacular news!!!!! Wow, I am SOOOO happy for you - really!! And I can't believe you're still reading and commenting on my depressing BFN blogs when you have this giant miracle happening right now -you really are amazing, Denise (in a good way). You're my hero; I'm serious. Can I please walk in your shoes now? ~grin~ Giant hugs xxxooo