33w3d

If you haven't already, check out this video.

This week's belly shots are below. Does it look like I'm carrying really low now? It feels like it. My belly feels heavier every day. I hope that means the babies are growing, especially Apple. OB appointment and NST tomorrow. Not feeling very chatty today.

The Wiggle Worms

Periodically, Apple and/or Banana are so active that you can see a ballet of body parts poking through my belly.  We caught one of these shows on tape this morning.

Gobble Gobble

NST's Here I Come

I'm back home on the couch, which is better than being back in the hospital, right?  Today's appointment went relatively well.  As seems to be the case with this pregnancy, as soon as we get some level of comfort, things change a bit.  The babies are still growing, but Apple is lagging further behind her brother and the growth curve.  The good news is that her fluid looks pretty good-still decreased compared to Banana, but it is better than it was.  The other worrisome news is that my cervix has shortened a bit, which could mean that the contractions are starting to change my cervix and I could go into labor.  But what's new?  Here are the details:

• Apple now weighs about 3 pounds 7 ounces, so she has only gained about 6 ounces in two weeks.  She was around the 31st percentile for growth two weeks ago and has slipped down to the 19th or 20th percentile.  The main issue driving the estimates continues to be her small abdomen.  She just isn't getting as much nourishment from her placenta as she should be.
• Banana weighs about 4 pounds 9 ounces, so they are over a pound different.  Doesn't sound that big, but it is significant when they weigh so little to begin with.  He gained almost a pound in the last 2 weeks.  Today he measured in around the 40th percentile.  I had written down that he was at 44% two weeks ago, but today they said he was at 41% two weeks ago and that he really hasn't moved on the curve, which is good.
• Both babies had similar doppler measurements (measures blood flow from the placenta through the umbilical cord to the baby).
• The sonographer had an easy time finding a 4cm pocket of fluid for each baby, so that is good.
• Apple is head down and Banana is breach.
• The peri now wants me to have NST's done twice a week.  This is the same thing they did in the hospital where we would have to get a good tracing of both babies on the monitor for 20 minutes at a time.  But it can be done at my OB's office, so I don't have to go to the hospital.

Given how Apple is lagging further behind, unless she has a massive growth spurt in the next two weeks, it looks like we will be delivering then (unless I go into active labor before then).  I will be almost 35 weeks at that point.  I'm not quite sure what our chances are for attempting a vaginal delivery at this point.  The peri made it sound like it would be up to the OB, but that the OB probably wouldn't be comfortable with a vaginal delivery since Banana weighs a pound more than Apple and is on top of her.  I will be asking the OB about this on Monday.  I haven't quite resigned myself to having a c-section yet.

So I give this appointment mixed reviews.  We are obviously in much better shape than we were at the beginning of the month, but not completely out of the woods.  We are still likely looking at some NICU time, but I guess you never know.  At least we did the steroid shots to mature the babies' lungs and we are past the 32 week mark.

Below are some pictures from one of the scans we had in the hospital (on the 7th) that I didn't get around to scanning until now.  The last two pictures (the 3-d ones are from today).  They aren't as good as some of the earlier pictures as the babies are getting a bit big to get really good pictures and they haven't been cooperating all that much.  It is starting to get pretty crowded in there!  The first picture from today (second to last picture below) is Apple with her hand smushed up against her face.  The last picture below is from today and shows Banana's profile pretty much completely hidden by his face.  Both babies had an arm up and we wondered if it was a defensive position because each has a foot or two in their face from the other baby.  Banana's arm looks chunky to me compared to skinny little Apple.  On the screen, it actually looked like Banana was holding his hand to his forehead like he had a headache!

One More Sleep

Next growth scan and BPP tomorrow.  The last two weeks have crawled by so slowly.  I wonder every day how they're doing in there.  Thinking lots of fluid-y thoughts...

Weekly OB Update

Had my weekly OB visit today. Nothing new to report. Here are the quick highlights:

• Heard babies heart beats
• Blood pressure at 120/66
• Iron at 13 something (was 11 something before adding supplements weeks ago-should be over 12)
• Weight up 1.5 pounds since last week-not sure I really believe this one as last week's appointment was a morning appointment and this one was late afternoon
• Belly still measuring 39cm
• Got my paperwork back signed by the doctor for my maternity leave
• No sign of PUPP, so itching is just from my lovely stretching skin-doctor recommended any kind of butter/cream since thicker than lotion

Wednesday is the next ultrasound with the perinatologist.  It can't come fast enough.

32w3d

No changes to my contractions lately except (dare I say?) they seem to be spread out a bit further. Overall, I feel okay. Pelvic pain has gotten worse and I do have moments of crazy where I feel like I HAVE to move and get off the couch for awhile. My routine is starting to feel very dull. My main annoyance lately is that the skin on my lower abdomen and around the belly button has started to itch like mad. It is so sensitive and tender that if I scratch it very lightly even just for a little bit, it starts to hurt. I must have had a growth spurt in the last day or two that has stretched the skin very thin. Has anyone found anything that helps other than plain old lotion?

B got a lot done this week/weekend. He visited one of the daycare centers on our list, put the changing table together, changed some light bulbs, replaced a battery in a smoke detector (that started beeping at 4am the other night), went grocery shopping, picked up my prescription, got a new tire on his car, put up the Christmas tree and put together the new oil-less turkey frier I got him as an early b-day gift. I sat on the couch yesterday watching him go back and forth like the energizer bunny all day long.

B also made a whole chicken for dinner last night to try out the frier. It cooked a bit unevenly because the chicken was small and a bit difficult to center on the basket, but it was really good. Incredibly tender and moist. We won't be using it for the main bird on Thanksgiving this year, but maybe next year once it is broken in.

Not to be outdone, my mom (with some help from dad) has been running around like crazy helping us to get some things together and taking care of my lunches during the week. She put together a hospital bag for me and I just need to add a couple more things to it. She has also been helping with laundry and all sorts of other odds and ends.

Because of all of this, we are getting very close to having everything ready for these babies! Here's what is still on the list:

1. We still need to decide whether or not to get on a list for a daycare and pay the non-refundable deposit now, or wait and hire a nanny later.
2. B is going to try to install the car seat bases (4 of them!) later this afternoon. Once they are installed, we have to make an appointment with the fire department to get them checked out.
3. We still need to buy a monitor. Ideally, I would like to get a video monitor that has two separate cameras so that we can see both babies. From the online research I've done, there are a couple of video monitors that offer the ability to set up a second camera, although the options are very limited. All the reviews I've read say that hooking up the second camera generates a bunch of static or interference. So I've been stalling on making a decision on this one.
4. We still need to buy some feeding items (bottles, bottle cleaning accessories)
5. I'm still looking for an extra diaper bag. A friend got us one as a gift and it will work great for shorter trips (and it is so incredibly cute). However, I think with twins I need to look for a really big one too to use for overnight visits, and travel etc.
6. Take home outfits for the babies. We'll wait on this one for awhile. I would have no idea at the moment whether to get them something for preemies or just newborn.
7. I started putting together a list of phone calls/emails to make once the babies are born, but I need to finish it.
8. Finish packing hospital bag.
9. We need to look into putting a will together.

Also this week, both my mom and dad got to watch Apple and Banana show off for them with various body parts poking out of my belly, gliding or tumbling across it. They have periods most days where they are very active, although it is usually still difficult for me to tell which baby is moving when.

Hey, when people tell you that you look great when you're pregnant, do they really think so? Or is that just what you say to a pregnant lady? There was a time there that I didn't think I'd get to see what I look like 32 weeks pregnant. This is so cool. Each additional week is a small victory and the next major goal is 34 weeks. Here's what the belly looks like today. I've included a picture with a shirt over the belly this time because I think it looks totally fake, like I stuffed a round beach ball under my shirt!

32 Weeks

Hell yeah.

Fascinating

While at home on bedrest, no matter how much you try to do some work, read, be productive, etc., you will stumble upon some amount of daytime tv. I caught the beginning of this gem yesterday and just-could-not-look-away...

Press pause on the music player to the right to get the full effect.

(sorry for the poor quality, the better versions had the embed feature disabled)

I Almost Didn't Even Notice

My little Freezer Buns blog was born a year ago today.  At the time, our first FET had just been cancelled after two postponements and a cancelled fresh IVF cycle.  I had an "irregularity" in my lining and was waiting for a D&C to clear it out and make sure it was nothing concerning.  It turned out to be nothing.  But it was a dark time for me.  It was just before the holidays and it cast a shadow for me over all of our holiday celebrations.

Fast forward a year and look where we are.  I'm 31 weeks (I'm too superstitious to round up here) pregnant with boy/girl twins. Our family and friends are supportive and excited for us.  We have a lot to be thankful for this year.  It hasn't been easy getting to this point.  If I had any say in the matter, we would have been pregnant with (or even have) our second child by now.  But it obviously doesn't work that way. I am happy to be where we are now. And I'm holding my breath that things will go well and these babies will not arrive before they are ready.

Soon I will be creating a new blog. I want to continue to blog once Apple and Banana are born, but it doesn't seem right to continue in this space that was dedicated to getting them here safely. Plus I would like to post pictures as they grow and I don't want to have those pictures floating around in cyberspace without some control over who can view them. So my next blog will be invite only. Family and IRL friends will all get invites if you are interested. For my blogging buddies who I've "known" for awhile now, you will also be invited if you want. And for those lurkers out there (I know you're reading), I won't feel comfortable sending you an invite unless I have a chance to get to know you a bit first, so now is your chance to start commenting, etc. I will let you all know when the time comes to let me know you want an invite. It will likely be sometime shortly after Apple and Banana are born. Hopefully not for a number of weeks to come.

OB Appointment & New Belly Pix!

Had a regular OB appointment today (every Monday from now on). Nothing exciting. Here are the basics:

• Blood pressure 110/60
• Still gaining a bit of weight slowly--total weight gain of about 26 pounds
• Apple's heart rate at 145 and Banana's at 150
• Belly measuring 37cm (yeah, it was 39cm last Thursday)-I guess it is subjective and not all that accurate, or the babies might have moved positions a bit
• I saw the same doc today that I saw last Thursday and she asked if I "popped" over the weekend, apparently I look bigger!
• Apple's back or butt might be pressed up against the main ligament on the left that holds the uterus up causing the major tenderness I've been feeling
• Cervix still feels closed, thick and up high
• The OB could feel Apple's head, but she said it isn't pushing down and isn't in the birth canal yet, crazy how low she is
• No indication of how much longer we have.  I can't remember if I mentioned this before or not, but the doc mentioned that she's had patients who contract consistently for months and they worry about preterm labor and then they end up going full term and having to induce.

And for your viewing pleasure, here are some belly pix of someone close to me.  I think he felt left out because my belly was getting all of the attention.  Can you guess who it is?  Hint:  it isn't B.

Can I Complain a Little?

Our couch never used to be this uncomfortable. It must be me. No matter where I sit/lie or what position I'm in, I just can't get comfortable. My back is not happy. I've tried ice packs, taking baths, distracting myself with tv or a book. I can't focus on anything. The only true relief I'm finding is at night with my tyle.nol pm. And that only lasts for a couple hours.

I also have a very tender spot on my lower left abdomen. It is the spot that has hurt all along from round ligament pain. It is now tender to the touch and hurts with the slightest movement. Plus, Apple (I think) keeps kicking or hitting that spot from the inside and it is like a sharp jab from the inside.

I'm trying really hard to enjoy this time. The last weeks of having my babies inside me. I'm trying to enjoy the calm around me and be happy that I'm home. Really, I am. I'm just so damn uncomfortable. And the stupid bed rest exercises aren't doing anything to relieve the feeling that I just need to MOVE.

31w2d-Belly Pix From This Week

Not much going on here. Just getting into a routine every day. Get up, take bath, take shower, get dressed, drag huge self down to couch, lie on couch all day, eat periodically, take medicine periodically, drag self back upstairs, take bath, go to bed (insert numerous stops in the bathroom). Still contracting every 5-15 minutes depending on the time of day.

Just thought I would take this opportunity to post some belly pictures. Please don't tell my doctor that I was standing up for these pictures. It really only took like 30 seconds. Plus, I'm starting to go a bit crazy trying to stay comfortable lying down so much. My back and hips really aren't very happy with me.

Beware, some of these pictures show scary stretch marks and might be disturbing due to the sheer size of my belly! Click on them at your own risk.

These pictures were taken today. I took some facing forward so you can see my lovely stretch marks. They started as just faint red lines around the belly button. Then they got darker, crept downward, then upward and now they appear to be creeping to the sides. Lovely. You can also see the lovely red blotch that is the remnant of the top hole that used to contain my navel ring (not to mention my non-existent and slightly outtie belly button).

The other thing I love about the front facing photos are that my belly just looks like a huge, perfectly round ball. But for some reason, it never looks as big to me in the pictures as it does when I'm looking in the mirror. And it is also starting to get really shiny. I think if I stood on the side of the highway at night with my bare belly, it could act as a reflector and I might blind oncoming traffic!

31 Weeks

One more week until the next milestone-the 32 week mark.

Had my check up with the OB today. She's pretty happy with where we are now after yesterday's scan. Blood pressure still normal at 118/66 (or something like that), and I'm now measuring at 39 weeks! Yikes. I'm huge. She said that my goal should be to keep things as is for 4 more weeks. If I make it to 35 weeks, they might take me off of bed rest and the pro.cardia. Because twins actually develop maturity a bit faster than singletons, a 35-weeker twin is generally about as developed as a 37-weeker singleton. The doctor also said she's had many patients who contract consistently for weeks and weeks who end up having to be induced.

I tried to convince the OB to let me keep my scheduled ultrasound appointment for Monday, but she was having none of it. Between the subjectivity of ultrasound technology and all recent scans being done by the peri, she thought it could cause more harm than good because of misinformation. So I'm stuck waiting for 2 weeks until we can see Apple and Banana again. Boo!!!

I guess I'll live.

Positive Trend

Today's scan went well. The peri said it looked like both babies had more fluid today than on Monday. She didn't give us specific numbers. When I asked her what they look for in the deepest pocket, she said they really care more that the two babies have similar amounts of fluid and not a specific amount.

They are now estimating Apple's weight at a chunky 3 pounds 1 ounce! Either she packed on a ton of weight in the past 10 days, or the measurement last time was off because they couldn't get a great picture (the less fluid, the more difficult it is to measure them). I'm quite proud of her! Banana's weight is estimated at 3 pounds 10 ounces, so he is growing well also. It became very clear today that the weight estimates are just that, estimates. There is a large margin of error. The sonographer did the measurements first and came up with 3 pounds 1 ounce for Banana. Then the peri came in, had me shift sides and remeasured and got the 3 pounds 10 ounces. So it is quite subjective.

Regardless, both babies are growing and their discordance is now down to 16% from 21% ten days ago. It is now within the normal range. Apple's measurements put her at 30 weeks even, so about a week behind. Banana's measurements put him at 30w5d, right on track, which puts him in the 44th percentile. Can't remember where Apple fell on the growth curve, but she is still small for her gestational age. In some ways it doesn't worry me too much since I was always small for my age as a child (and as an adult). I was only 5 pounds 11 ounces when I was born and I was a singleton.

Anyway, they both seem to be doing much better. The BPP's for both babies looked good (movement and breathing motion). They continued to comment on how active Banana is at every single scan. He is definitely going to be a wild child! He was breech today. Apple is still vertex with her head lodged down in my pelvis just above my cervix. My cervix measured 3.6cm today (up from 3.2 on Monday). The peri kept pushing on my abdomen trying to get Apple's head to move up a bit to get a better measurement, but she wouldn't budge. I think she is determined to come out as soon as my cervix will let her! Good thing it is holding up so far.

The peri was satisfied enough that I'm not supposed to go back for 2 weeks. On Monday she said they would want to see me twice a week and now we're looking at once every other week. Quite a difference. I'm trying not to think about how incredibly far away 2 weeks seems right now since they've been checking me every other day. I do see my OB tomorrow, so we'll see what their plan is going forward.

I'm still on bed rest for now and keeping everything the same (pro.cardia, gelatin, 2 tub sessions, up only when necessary, etc.). Will update after tomorrow's appointment with anything new.

Oh, and since some of you asked, I did get that promotion at work. It was effective and announced November 1st while I was in the hospital. So, when I get back from leave, it will be to a new job (although one I've basically been doing since mid-September anyway). I finally talked to my boss today and got the official letter with my new compensation. Let's just say it will help quite a bit in paying for daycare or a nanny for 2 kids next year!

Quiet Day

Just a quick post to say I made it through today with no issues and no panicking. The only thing I'm noticing is that I'm really low on energy. I mean, really low. It was all I could do to take a bath, shower, get dressed and pour a bowl of cereal this morning without collapsing. I guess that's what 11 days in bed does to you.

Tomorrow is our growth scan. I really hope our little Apple has put on a little weight. I'm worried about her.

Guess What?

As I type this, I am lying on the couch in our family room. I'm home!

At the scan today, Apple's fluid level was "much better" than on Friday. Her deepest pocket of fluid measured about 2.5cm (it was 1 something on Friday). It is still low. But she has three discernible pockets of fluid now instead of one and the perinatologist (the conservative one) was comfortable enough to send me home. Banana's deepest pocket of fluid was somewhere above 6cm, but he appears to have plenty of fluid. And his fluid was also higher than it was on Friday.

I had to do a little reading today because I was confusing these numbers with the AFI (amniotic fluid index), where they divide the mother's abdomen into four quadrants, measure a fluid pocket in each quadrant and add them together. They obviously can't do this with twins, so they generally use the single deepest vertical pocket ("SDVP") method. This simply measures the amount of fluid in one pocket of fluid. I suppose when Apple had only one pocket of fluid, the SDVP measure equaled the AFI number. I can't find any guidelines to what is acceptable under the SDVP method, other than it appears a depth of at least 2cm is desired.

Regardless of the technicalities, we aren't in the clear, but things are looking up. The biophysical profiles (BPP) for both babies looked great this morning and their tracing this morning looked great as well. They did measure my cervix again today per my request. The first measurement she did was about 2cm, which is half of what it was last Wednesday. However, she looked around a bit more and got a better angle to measure and it was quite a bit longer than that. I didn't get an exact number (3 something), but they seemed satisfied with it.

The OB and peri seemed to think that the cel.ebrex was the culprit in reducing the fluid, although you don't usually see such a drastic reduction with such a small dose for only 48 hours. They think that pushing fluids and the warm baths are helping. Neither one had heard of the gelatin idea, but they agreed it wouldn't hurt, so might as well try it.

I've been given strict orders to try to mimic exactly what I've been doing in the hospital at home. This entails lying down as much as possible, getting up only when necessary, two baths per day, still taking my medicine every 4 hours, still doing my bed rest exercises, drinking 64-96 ounces of water every 24 hours, etc. I'm also supposed to call with any concerns whatsoever, keep an eye on my contractions for any changes and take notice of fetal movement to see if it seems decreased to me. I have an appointment with the perinatologist on Wednesday for a growth scan for both babies (and they'll check fluid again) and a follow up appointment with my OB on Thursday. What we do from there depends on what we see at the growth scan.

I am going to try really hard not to be paranoid and constantly worried about these babies while I'm home. And I just need to make it to Wednesday until we see how they are doing again. The other challenge is going to be planning well enough for meals, etc. so I don't need to get up constantly. We'll see how it goes. For now, I'm just happy to be home in familiar surroundings with B and the dogs again. And I can't wait to sleep in my own bed and take a bath in my own tub again. It feels G.O.O.D.

I was in the hospital for about a week and a half and it felt like forever. I have to say though, the days when I had visitors went by much more quickly. Thanks to everyone for visiting, calling, emailing, posting comments and generally for your positive thoughts and prayers. I am truly lucky to have so many great friends and family members.

Pictures, Pictures, Pictures

Thought I'd treat you all to some pictures from my hospital stay so far. Before I get to that, let me just say that today was a great day as far as a day in the hospital goes. We had tons of visitors and for pieces of time I was able to forget where I was and why. Monitoring this morning was a bit frustrating and we couldn't find Apple. The doctor happened to come by on rounds at that time, so they got out the ultrasound to reassure us and figure out where to place the monitor. She was right where we thought the whole time and she was moving around a lot, just like her brother. The doctor thought that it looked like she might have more fluid than Friday, but couldn't measure it, so we'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out. The second monitoring session today went well and I was only on for one hour. The last one tonight took WAY too long (2 1/2 hours).  Apple was doing great, but Banana appeared to be asleep for an hour.  Once he perked up and started showing some activity, Apple had a late deceleration through one of my contractions.  So the nurse decided we needed to watch her through a couple more.  She did fine, but then Banana's heart rate was flat again.  The nurse sat in here for almost an hour waiting for Banana to have one more acceleration.  He finally did and she gave me a bowl of Lu.cky Char.ms out of her personal stash as a reward.  Yum.

Now for the pictures.

This first picture is from Halloween day. This was taken in the first room they had me in that had a view of a brick wall. I was still in a hospital gown, but B brought my favorite pillow from home (and so began the slowly moving into the hospital by the bringing in of "stuff"). If you look closely, you can see a bruise on my upper arm. I have no idea how I got it.

This is the latest belly shot taken on Thursday at 30 weeks. It shows off my current wardrobe which now consists of pajama pants and B's white t-shirts. This picture was taken in my current room, in front of the door (I know, exciting).
















This picture was taken as I was returning from one of my many bathroom trips. I had to interrupt monitoring for this particular trip. You can see the pink and blue elastic straps across my belly that hold the monitoring units in place. I'm holding the cords that get plugged into the base unit in my left hand. You can also see my lovely leg compression things (I have no idea what they are called). They plug into a unit that hooks onto the end of the bed. If you could see my make-up-less face and disheveled hair in this picture, you would totally think I'm hot.

This next picture is the view right in front of my bed. The flowers were from my niece's first birthday party last weekend that my mom brought by the next day. The picture frame has a picture of B as a little boy holding a cork board with the letter "B." His family sent us a bunch of pictures of him as a kid a couple of years ago and I framed this one because I thought it was so cute. The two angel ornaments hanging on the picture frame were part of a care package a friend brought by today. One for each baby. I can look at these from my bed and I'm reminded of why I'm doing this. The candle to the left of the frame was also in the care package. It is a flameless candle that works off batteries and smells like vanilla. This is one of my favorite things in the care package. It makes my room smell good and gives it a bit more ambiance. Never mind the fact that all of these things are sitting on top of the hazardous waste container. You can also see the "room service" menu in a little holder on the wall.















This picture shows the bigger picture view straight ahead of my bed. The tv up on the wall, the mini fridge with snacks on top, the same stuff shown in the picture above and the linen hamper.

This picture shows the corner with all my stuff on the floor. There really isn't any storage in the room to put anything in because my room is on the labor and delivery wing. They don't expect people to stay here for long as there is a separate post-pardum wing that they move you to once you deliver. The hospital is very proud of the lamps in these rooms because it provides softer lighting than the harsh overhead lights. The wheelie stool in this picture is helpful for extra seating and, as we found out today, is very entertaining for a 6 year old!

This picture shows some of the touches B brought me from home. The green afghan on the chair was made by his grandmother for one of the babies. We have two, but the other one is still at home. And then there's the Bears blanket. It is soft fleece and very cozy. The couch it is on pulls out length-wise and is for the dad's to sleep on. According to B (who spent the first two nights on this couch), it is not comfortable at all.

This picture shows all of the monitoring equipment. I won't bore you with the details, but this machine rules 3-6 hours of my life every day.

This shows my sink/vanity area. My mom brought me a humidifier because hospital air is incredibly dry. You can also see the IV to the left. I haven't had any IV fluids for about a week now and they took the IV out of my arm a couple of days ago. That was a relief. The stack of white blankets to the right of the picture are actually draped across a recliner.

This picture is of my bathroom (it is in my room) and the shower. It is actually a pretty nice bathroom with nice tiling. You can see the chair in the shower that I have to shower in (I'm not allowed to shower standing up). I've spared you a picture of the toilet. it is off to the right.

This picture shows my window with a view of the mountains (past the roof in the foreground). Much better than looking at a brick wall.

A Day in the Life

• 8am-Get out of bed, brush teeth, pee
• 8:15am-Order breakfast and do bed rest exercises, eat breakfast
• 8:55am-Call nurse and ask to be placed on monitors
• 9:00am-Nurse arrives with medicine and takes vitals, pee
• 9:05am-Monitoring Step 1:  Nurse thinks she has both babies on monitor and leaves room with confidence, promising to "watch from the desk"
• 9:06am-Monitoring Step 2:  One or both babies moves and monitor loses track of heart beat, attempt to move monitor to find missing baby(ies)
• 9:25am-Monitoring Step 3:  Get annoyed that nurse has not been watching and doesn't come back to find missing baby(ies)
• 9:26am-Monitoring Step 4:  Call nurses station and ask for help getting missing baby(ies) back on monitors
• 9:27am-Monitoring Step 5:  Decide might as well pee while waiting for nurse, unplug three monitors (one for each baby and one for contractions) and pulse-ox, curl into a ring and carry with to the bathroom with goopy gel all over belly hanging out.  Try not to let shirt fall into goop.
• 9:30am-Monitoring Step 6:  Nurse is back and spends anywhere from 2 minutes to 20 minutes getting babies back on monitors
• 9:50am-Monitoring Step 7:  Horrible back-ache sets in and decide must absolutely shift sides or will die soon.
• 9:51am-Monitoring Step 8:  Roll over in bed, lose both babies off monitors
• Repeat Steps 2 through 8
• 10:35am-Babies cooperate for 10 continuous minutes.  Obsess over tracing because not showing proper accelerations.
• 10:45am-Notice that it looks like both monitors are tracing the same baby.
• 10:46am-Call nurses station asking for assistance, that is the same baby on both monitors
• 10:50am-Nurse comes in and tries to find second baby.
• 10:55am-Nurse leaves to find other, more experienced nurse for help.
• 11:00am-Both nurses try to find second baby.
• 11:10am-Both babies finally cooperate for a bit.
• 11:11am-Have to pee.  Focus really hard to avoid peeing in the bed every time a contraction hits and pushes on the bladder.
• 11:12am-Doctor shows up on rounds.  Asks questions, answers questions.
• 11:25am-Nurse decides we've gotten enough and arrives to take me off monitors
• 11:26am-waddle to bathroom as fast as I can
• 11:30am-Order lunch and sit in warm bath watching tiny body parts poke out of belly
• 12:05pm-pee, do bed rest exercises, eat lunch
• 1:00pm-check email, return phone calls, pee, nurse arrives with medicine
• 2:00pm-nurse asks when I want to go back on monitors
• 2:01pm-2:30pm- attempt to answer emails, return phone calls, visit with visitors
• 2:31pm-Nurse comes back.  "Ready to monitor?"
• 2:32pm-4:00 or 4:30 pm-repeat monitoring steps as above
• 5:00pm-nurse arrives with medicine
• 5:15pm-call nurses station and ask to go sit in tub
• 5:35pm-wonder if they've forgotten about me
• 5:36pm-Call nurses station again and ask if I've been forgotten (whoever took the call forgot to tell my nurse)
• 5:38pm-Nurse arrives with wheelchair to take me to tub room and apologizes
• 5:40pm-6:10pm-sit in warm tub and watch earthquake going on in belly
• 6:02pm-return to room and realize haven't showered yet today, pee
• 6:10pm-shower
• 6:30pm-order dinner, do bed rest exercises, pee
• 7:00pm-eat dinner
• 8:00pm-night nurse arrives and asks when I want to be monitored again, pee
• 8:30pm-begin monitoring steps as above
• 9:00pm-nurse arrives with medicine and takes vitals
• 10:30pm-pee, go to sleep
• 12:15am-pee
• 1:00am-nurse wakes up to give medicine and take vitals, pee, go back to sleep
• 3:30am-pee
• 5:00am-nurse wakes up to give medicine and take vitals, pee, pretend to go back to sleep
• 6:00am-slowly drift off back to sleep
• 7:00am-wake up to loud noises in the hallway from cleaning or construction crew, pee
• 8:00am-start all over again

Throw in the random ultrasound, blood draw, weight check, NICU tour, etc. somewhere in there.

Are you exhausted yet?  I am.

I Hate When They're Right

Whenever I told someone we were expecting twins, the most common response I got was "you know you'll be on bedrest!" It irks me that they were right. I honestly never expected to be here. I thought after awhile, I would be on modified activity simply because of how big I would be. I never expected pre-term labor or low fluid and discordant growth. I read about all of these things, but never thought they would apply to me and to this pregnancy. But here we are. Today's scan showed that fluid for both babies is lower than it was on Wednesday. It is not dire enough to require immediately delivery, but they quietly switched over from being happy with 20 minute NST's to full hour long monitoring of the babies heart rates. I know this is the best place for us to be right now, but it didn't make it any easier to hear the news from the perinatologist.

In other news, we got to tour the NICU today. The NP who gave us the tour was very nice and very knowledgeable. The NICU itself seems like the calmest, most serene place in the hospital. It is spacious and not overly crowded (at least not at the moment). The nurse explained the different pieces of equipment and what they are all used for. She let us peek at some of the babies in their isolettes or cribs and told us at what gestational age they were born, how much they weighed, and how far they have come since birth. Seeing the babies in there was not nearly as worrisome as I expected. Instead, it was reassuring to see the place where our babies have a high likelihood of spending their first weeks. I'm sure it will feel different once it is our kids in there, but at least we now know some of what to expect and have met a couple of the nurses.

In addition to continuing the warm baths twice a day, I am now trying to drink gelatin mixed with hot chocolate three times a day. So far this is the best combination we have found because I can't taste the gelatin at all (with just warm water or apple juice, it tastes yeasty). Since our doula recommended this as a possible home remedy for low amniotic fluid and it can't really do any harm, I'm going to give it a try. I'm hopeful that the combination of this, drinking tons of water, resting and taking two baths a day, we have a shot at seeing more fluid on Monday. it is going to be a long weekend. Although we do have visitors planning to stop by, so that should keep me somewhat occupied.

The first two monitoring sessions today were very frustrating. We started the first one late because of my scan at 9:30am this morning. And I ended up on the monitors for 2 hours. I'm convinced the nurse forgot about me. I think in that two hour period, there might have been a total of 10 minutes that the babies were both actually tracing well. Or was that the second session? I'm starting to have trouble remembering specifics on what happened when and who was there. I can't remember which nurse I had on what day or night. It is all just blending together as one big long stretch of time now.

After the second session today, I asked to speak with the doctor. I was worried that the tracing for Banana was so flat. She told me it looked better than the morning session and both babies are doing fine. This is the last of the 6 doctors in my OB's practice for me to meet. So far she is my least favorite. Maybe it's just me, but she made me feel stupid for worrying or questioning things. She would just say a couple of words and just stare at me. I'm really hoping she warms up a bit because she is the doc on call all weekend.

I don't think it is obvious to most people, but hospital bedrest is anything but restful or boring. Most days seem filled with one activity or another and sometimes it feels like a stretch to get everything in that I need to do. More on that in another post. For now, I'm exhausted, so I'm going to try to sleep.

Thanks to everyone for the positive comments, emails, phone calls, visits, etc. They do help. Oh, and I promise I'll post some pictures of the sexy compression things as soon as I get to it.

Crap

Fluid levels have dropped since Wednesday. I'm staying here and they'll check again on Monday. More later.

30 Weeks

I feel like I don't have much to say on days where we don't have a scan. But today I am 30 weeks. Two more weeks until the next milestone. We did take a belly shot today, but I haven't gotten around to downloading to the computer yet. Suffice it to say, I am HUGE.

Today was a bit of a down day. i woke up in a bad mood because I had trouble sleeping last night and was dreaming that I was leaking fluid. Turns out I just had to pee. But I think the fear is definitely starting to sink in and I'm trying not to let it get the best of me.

I had another postpardum nurse today, which makes for a really stressful day. The postpardum nurses don't usually work with pregnant women and, therefore, know very little about monitoring. I had to guide her and take responsibility myself (I don't get paid for that!). To make matters worse, this particular nurse is just slow. It took her 30 minutes to take my vitals this morning before she would give me my medication. And she tends to just putz around my room, even when I have company visiting. Our doula was here this morning for our first prenatal visit (we moved it up given the circumstances) and we were still trying to finish up the morning monitoring session (which ended up taking 2 1/2 hours). The doula was laughing at me because every time the nurse would walk into the room, my heart rate would increase and then it would immediately decrease right when she left the room. Telltale sign that she was stressing me out. I'm so transparent!

I did convince her at some point that she needed to grab one of the L&D nurses to help with the monitoring. Once the L&D nurse was in here, I mentioned to her how frustrating it was having a postpardum nurse. She mentioned that they fill in on postpardum too and it is difficult for them to help women breast feed when that isn't what they are trained to do. What is wrong with this system? She did promise to get me an L&D nurse for tonight, which she did. I know that when L&D is short on nurses, the bedrest patients get the fill-in nurses, because they can't really help during deliveries. But still. I'm paying for this care and I shouldn't have to stress because of their administrative issues.

The doula today mentioned that drinking gelatin in water can help increase amniotic fluid. Anyone heard of this? I did a search on this and didn't find a whole lot. I did drink one cup of it this afternoon, but I just wonder if anything additional will go to Banana anyway because his placenta seems to be functioning better. During the monitoring session this morning, it took forever to get Apple to stay on the monitor and then Banana's heart rate was looking flat. A normal, healthy baby will show brief accelerations and decelerations in their heart rate during monitoring. The good news is that the monitoring session tonight went a little smoother and the babies seemed fine.

I had a couple of visitors today (other than my parents and B who visit every day) and one of our friends brought us a little rocking sheep for the babies. it is so incredibly cute and I can't wait to see it in the nursery. It seems like forever since I've been in the nursery. I miss our house and the dogs. Tonight B and I did a quick video chat so I could talk to the dogs. Scout was cocking her head back and forth listening to me and trying to figure out where my voice was coming from. Molly just looked bored. That is until Scout decided I must be home and ran to the garage door barking. One of the nurses told us that we can bring dogs in to visit if we can prove they've had all of their shots. It was a tempting idea, but I think it would just wig them out further. And Scout's barking would disturb the entire hospital.

Let's see, what else? B went to our second HOA meeting last night and apparently things got a bit heated. I hate missing stuff like that-oh the drama!

Not much else going on. I can't believe I've been here a week. I NEVER thought this would happen when we came in last week. Thought I'd be going home that night or maybe the next day. I've gotten to know quite a few of the nurses now and most of them are pretty good and really nice. The food here is actually not bad (since you asked, Jen). There is a menu you order off of like room service and it is actually a pretty varied menu. They have breakfast items, sandwiches and salads, and entrees and you can order any of them at any time 7am to 7pm. I am definitely staying fed. Plus B and my parents (and some friends) keep bringing me outside food so I don't get bored of the food here.

The weather has turned to fall and gotten colder here, but I really don't know the difference. I have a nice view of the mountains out my window, but it would be nice to be able to breathe the fresh air. I do have wheelchair privileges, so I guess I could have someone wheel me outside, but I didn't bring any cold weather clothes here.

Tomorrow is our next scan with the peri. I am nervous, but I can't wait for it to be morning so I can count another day that the babies are safe inside me and I just hope things have improved since Wednesday. They are coming to get me either at 7:30am or 9:30am. If I'm not able to go home tomorrow, they are going to set up a tour of the NICU for us so that we can get a little familiar and more comfortable with the idea of having our babies in there for awhile. And so we can also see some preemies and feel a little better that Apple and Banana won't look like aliens if they are born soon. It is a fine line between trying to stay optimistic and trying to prepare for the worst if we need to.

That's all for now. Time to go hook up my fancy leg compression thingies and try to sleep for 2 hours until they wake me up for my next pr.ocardia. Until tomorrow.

Feels Like Home (note sarcasm)

Here's the update for today.

Both Apple's and Banana's fluid is a little lower than it was on Monday. The doctors think this could be caused by the Celeb.rex as it can affect the babies' kidney function for a short period of time. Would have been nice to know that this was a side effect. Not that I would have refused to take it, but shouldn't that have been my decision?

Anyway, they are not worried about Banana because he has a lot of fluid anyway. Apple, however, is on the low end of the scale. Her AFI on Monday was 5 and this morning it was 2. She has only one pocket of fluid hanging out by her feet. They did another biophysical profile and her movement, tone and blood flow still looked good. We had to wait awhile for her to take a practice breath, but she eventually did. Banana's biophysical profile was perfect.

Because Apple's fluid level dropped, I am staying in the hospital now at least until Friday. Do I sound like a broken record yet? They will do another ultrasound on Friday to check again. I had my last dose of Celebr.ex, so it should be out of my system by Friday. If Apple's fluid increases to an acceptable level, they will probably let me go home. But, if the fluid is still low (same as today or lower) they will keep me in the hospital and watch Apple's other signs to watch for distress. The bottom line is that if Apple continues with low fluid, and her other signs start to deteriorate, we will need to deliver the babies.

The goal is to get me at least to 32 weeks (2 weeks from tomorrow) as this is a significant milestone in terms of preemies and the types of issues they will have. Of course, anything beyond that is even better.

In the mean time, the doctor has ordered 2 jacuzzi immersion sessions a day for 30 minutes each. The theory is that sitting in the warm water (no jets since that can cause or increase contractions) helps to move some of the body's fluid from tissue to my vascular system and then on to the babies. I'm also drinking a ton of water, but that is nothing new. And I'm still taking the pro.cardia for the contractions.

They had a physical therapist stop by to show me some in-bed exercises to try to avoid some muscle deterioration and now I get to sleep with sexy compression stockings or those funky leg cuff things that plug in and squeeze your legs to avoid clots. They also got me a special gel mattress that is supposed to be more comfortable. I also have wheelchair privileges now if I want to go see the sights of the hospital. So, they are preparing me for a longer stay, just in case. The doctor said to plan on staying long term and if things work out so I can go home it will be a very pleasant surprise. Sure feels like I'm slowly, but surely moving in here.

I'm Boring Today (I Guess That's Good)

Just thought I should update to say there is no new news today. We've done two out of the three monitoring sessions for the day and both babies heart rates have been good. My contractions were quite spread out this morning, maybe because of the cel.ebrex. They seem to have picked up as the day went on, which is my standard pattern. One more session to go tonight.

Not much else to report. We have another scan scheduled for tomorrow and I'm thinking Apple's fluid level will dictate whether I stay in the hospital longer or go home. I don't think they can detect any growth in 2 days.

I had a lot of visitors today, so that kept me pretty occupied. Now I'm just watching election coverage with my mom while we eat dinner. I slept horribly last night, even in my druggy state. The OB mentioned they could get me a more comfortable mattress, but what's the point if I end up leaving tomorrow?

I did spend some time trying to get caught up on work emails today, but didn't quite finish. Somehow, they seem to be doing just fine without me. Imagine that!

I'll update tomorrow with any news.

Thanks for all the positive energy. it helps, so keep the comments coming!

Short Term Plans

I did finally talk to the OB this evening. She apparently thought the peri had talked to me and that I knew what the plan was going forward. And the peri evidently told her I wanted to stay in the hospital. I asked the peri her thoughts on hospital versus home bedrest and she asked what type of patient I would be at home (i.e. would I cheat and be getting up to do laundry, etc.). I told her I wasn't worried about forcing myself to lie down, but I would worry about the babies more if i was home and would probably have a difficult time deciding when to come back in should things seem different to me. it is more reassuring being in the hospital knowing that they are watching you and the babies, takes a bit of the pressure off. So apparently, I made the decision to stay, but wasn't aware I had made the decision or that it was even up to me. Go figure. For what it's worth, the OB did say she would prefer I was in the hospital anyway.

Here's the plan. They started me on cel.ebrex tonight and I'll be on that until Wednesday. On Wednesday, they will do another scan to check on the babies again, mainly on Apple's fluid level. i assume they'll check my cervix again too. Then we will reassess the situation. So, at least I know the plan for the next two nights and two days. After that it is all subject to change again.

I can't remember what details I put in the last post and I'm just too lazy to go back and look, so I apologize if I'm repeating anything. Apple weighed in around 2 pounds 7 ounces, while Banana is at 3 pounds 1 ounce. Banana is above the growth curve for a singleton, while Apple is below. Apple is still vertex and her head is so far down in my pelvis they had trouble getting a measurement of her head. Apparently she thinks it is time to go somewhere, but my cervix is holding her in for now. Banana is back to being breech. And he is spreading out taking up a ton of room and squeezing his sister into a smaller space. When they were measuring him today, they said he has a long arm bone. Now I'm picturing some kind of ape growing in there because neither B nor I have long arms (or legs).

Anatomy still looks good for both from what they can tell, but it gets more difficult over time as they grow. Both babies still have good blood flow from the placentas through their cords. Out of the four things they measure on the babies to determine size and weight (arm bone, leg bone, head, abdomen), all of Banana's were right around average or slightly above for a singleton. Apple's measurements were all good too except for her abdomen which is measuring at less than 2% percentile. This is the one measurement that is putting her below the curve and causing concern. Plus the fact that her fluid is a little low. It is actually difficult for them to tell and they said that if she were a singleton, they may not even be concerned. However, since Banana has more fluid and is bigger, they worry that he's getting more of the nourishment and she is suffering because of it.

No one seems concerned enough to talk about inducing soon, but they are concerned enough to watch closer. The other thing that concerned me today is that they sent a nurse from the NICU up to my room to talk to us about what to expect with preemies who are born at different weeks. I wasn't sure whether to listen intently to absorb as much info as possible, or to tune her out and ignore everything hoping that we wouldn't need to know any of it.

But even with this new turn of events, I'm trying to take things in stride. Every morning I wake up, I can mark another day off the calendar that I'm still pregnant and the babies are still benefiting from being in the uterine environment instead of the NICU. Each week will now feel like much more of a significant milestone to me than before. And the more of those milestones we can hit, the better off the babies will be when they come out.

Something New Every Day

Let's see, what happened today? We saw the perinatologist and had a scan done to check the babies' growth and my cervix. My cervix still looks great. However, Apple is now starting to lag behind her brother in size. She is only about 2 pounds 7 ounces, while Banana is around 3 pounds 1 ounce. Banana is above the 50% mark for the singleton growth curve and Apple is below the mark. They are about 21% different. Apparently they like them to be no more than 20% different and they tend to worry more if they are the same gender with significant differences, because boys tend to be bigger than girls anyway. Apple's fluid is also a little bit low now. It appears her placenta isn't quite as efficient as Banana's.

What does all of this mean? Who knows. The perinatologist said we need to start doing growth scans every 10 days or so, but she didn't seem to think we needed to monitor the babies constantly. However, the OB on call today did her rounds while I was getting scanned, so she missed me. When the nurses came in for afternoon monitoring, I asked why we were still doing this since the babies seemed to be fine every time we did and my contractions weren't changing. They said now that they are seeing a growth difference, we have more reason to monitor the babies.

I asked the nurse to call the OB and ask her to stop by. No one ever officially said today whether I'm going home or not so the nurses are assuming I'm here at least until tomorrow. I really would just like to know if there is a point to staying in the hospital. If the growth scans will only be every 10 days, no need to stay here for that. And if nothing helps my contractions, but my cervix is fine, can't they just check that periodically? No one has said anything about daily cervix checks. The perinatologist did suggest we try cele.brex for 48 hours to see if that helps the contractions. But the OB still hasn't written orders for that. Everything just seems very scattered and uncoordinated today.

To be honest, I would be fine if they want me here long term. I just wish I knew so that we could plan accordingly. Right now B is bringing me fresh clothes every day or two, rather than packing a whole bag. I haven't stocked the mini-fridge with anything thinking that I could be leaving any day now. They have special mattresses you can order if you are here long term. Of course I would rather be home. But being in limbo just sucks. Just tell me one way or the other, please.

I'll update later if the OB ever stops by.

The Dam Broke

Today was a really good day. It flew by because we had tons of visitors. They moved me to my new room which has a little fridge and a mountain view! I was actually hungry for the first time in days and the shakiness from the terb is pretty much gone. I even got to go outside today. Woo hoo! My family was here visiting for awhile and B was able to go home and do some laundry before coming back to the hospital. Then it got dark and everyone left. And I sat in bed and looked around the empty room. What now?

Oh yeah, did I mention I'm here at least until tomorrow? It really is just day by day.

B had to go pick up the dogs this evening who have been kenneled since Friday. He called me a bit later when everyone had gone too and I just started crying. I felt stupid and I know it made him feel guilty. I just couldn't help it and now I'm tearing up again just thinking about it. Hospital rooms are lonely places at night. Even with the company of the tv, phone and laptop.

B called back a bit later while I was eating dinner and told me he is taking the day off tomorrow and now I feel guilty for making him feel guilty. But he said the dogs are pretty wigged out. Scout, our little schnauzer is running all around the house looking for me and Molly, the big hound/pointer mix, ran right into the house and jumped up onto the coffee table. I'm sure they'll settle down soon though. They should be exhausted after being at the kennel.

As far as Apple and Banana go, they've been moving around like crazy. They actually behaved for this morning's monitoring session, but the second session took a bit longer to get them settled. One more session to go tonight. My contractions were pretty good this morning spaced from 7 to 11 minutes apart. During the second section, they were a bit closer together, back around 6 minutes apart. I'm not really convinced the pr.ocardia is doing anything. I think this is just my pattern now. They are slower in the morning and get closer together as the afternoon wears on. I guess as long as they aren't painful, and my cervix holds up, I could continue like this all the way to 38 weeks.

The doctor did check my cervix today and said it still seems closed, so that's good. She also did a swab for the strep-B test. I guess it is probably a good thing my mom asked about that today (of course I forgot), because the treatment is usually penici.llin, which I'm allergic to. This way, if I have it, the lab has the time to figure out which antibiotic will work and it will be all ready to go whenever the babies are born.

Being on a labor and delivery ward is a little weird. Women are giving birth all around me and we are trying really hard to make sure I don't. Yesterday when my contractions were pretty regular around 4-5 minutes apart, the nurse commented that I had the best labor pattern on the floor. How ironic. When I do hear a baby crying, I get wistful for a minute wishing that Apple and Banana were here, and then I have to push the thought away and give them a strict thought to stay put. Now is not the time.

The good thing about this hospital visit, is that we're now very comfortable here. I know how things work and I've met a lot of the nurses. It has also helped me decide what to pack in my hospital bag, which we are going to do this week-no more putting that off. Oh, and we are going to try to move up our prenatal doula visits too for fearing of not getting the benefit. I'm hoping that this hospital stay just makes it that much easier when we do come back for delivery. Hopefully not for another 8.5 weeks or so.

Morning Update

Day 3 of my incarceration. Really, that's what it kind of feels like. I've been locked in the same room since Thursday night, not even allowed to roam the halls. Last night seemed to go a bit better than the night before. We discovered before I went to sleep that if they take my blood pressure after I've been up to use the bathroom (which is really the only "up" time I get), it is much better than if I've been lying down for awhile. Duh. So every 4 hours when they came in to give me the pro.cardia, I would get up to pee first and my blood pressure was holding steady around 105/55 (give or take). They also gave me more IV fluids last night and kept me on a drip overnight. Sure is fun sleeping with an IV. They were threatening me with magnes.ium sul.fate last night, but settled for fluids with the proc.ardia as long as the contractions weren't painful. I was happy about that because I've heard and read horrible things about mag.

It's amazing what 3 days of lying in bed does to your body. I don't remember feeling like this with my IVF bed rest sessions. Probably because I was at home, and not pregnant. But it is really taking a toll on my body now. My back is especially difficult to deal with. Last night my whole chest was aching, my legs were aching and cramping. And now my arms and hands ache.

They haven't come in to start monitoring yet this morning, but I expect that soon. Last night I was talking to the nurse (she has been the same nurse on the night shift all three nights), I was talking about how antsy I was feeling. I just need to get out of this room for a little bit and get a little fresh air. Even if it isn't fresh air, just different air. She said that today they could ask the doctor for orders to allow me to be wheeled around in a wheelchair for half an hour or so. She also thought the doctor would write an order so I could sit in the jacuzzi tub they have on the L&D wing. And, they are going to move me to a different room that has a view. A view of what? I have no idea, but it has to be better than a view of a rooftop and the rooms on the other side of the roof. Sounds like heaven, doesn't it? For the past two days, the highlight of my day has been taking a shower (in a chair of course).

The nurse did think it was possible they might want to keep me for another couple of days to watch me further. So, instead of waking up every morning thinking I'm going home today, I think it will be better for me mentally to think I'll be going home in a couple of days. It is getting hard to be told I have to stay each day, even though I saw the signs. I know what needs to happen. My contractions need to be spaced far enough apart so that I'm having no more than 6 per hour, and my blood pressure needs to stay high enough while on the medication. Wish I had some control over that!

Thanks for all of your comments. Each one has helped cheer me up just a bit and is helping to remind me why I'm doing this.

Still Here

At the hospital that is. Overnight, my heart rate shot up and my blood pressure tanked. I wasn't really aware of much because I had taken two ty.lenol pm, but I remember the nurse taking my pulse and telling me my heart rate was too high to keep me on the terb. I wasn't too concerned in my groggy state and was just grateful to get some sleep. This morning, same scenario. They put me back on the monitor and the contractions were there. Pretty regular at about 6 minutes apart. Once they talked to the doctor they decided to give me the proc.ardia and monitor blood pressure. It didn't drop too much, so we are staying with the pro every 4 hours to see how I do on it.

They spent about an hour (at least) this morning trying to get Apple and Banana on the monitors. The kids were having none of it! They would get one on, strap the monitor onto my belly, find the other one and then the first one would move. At one point the back-up doc (who is actually my primary doc) came in with the ultrasound machine to get a better feel for where best to place the monitors. Both hearts were beating away and they both had a great amount of fluid. They got monitors on both babies for about 2 minutes and then lost them both. They gave up at that point and said we'll try again later. They aren't worried about the babies at all though because they are very active and when they have been monitored, they have plenty of healthy accelerations in their heart rates.

The doc on call came in around noon just to check in. She doesn't seem too worried. But we are definitely staying here overnight again. They want to see how I do on just the one medication. Apparently sometimes combining both medications is just too much for a person's (meaning me) system. If I do well on just the pro, they will send me home tomorrow. It could actually work out better because the pro doesn't give me the jitters nearly as bad as the terb and it would only be every 4 hours instead of alternating and taking something every 2 hours. Maybe I'll actually be able to lie down now without feeling like my heart is going to jump out of my chest. (if this is what meth is like, why would anyone enjoy that?!).

The other bummer in all of this is that we are now missing my niece's 1st birthday party this afternoon. Sucky. However, if the wireless here cooperates, we will try to do a video chat so we can at least say hi to everyone. Maybe B will sing happy birthday into the computer! Overall, we're doing fine. I'm still proud and amazed at myself for not crying at all and for being relatively okay with all of this. I'm really learning to go with the flow of things. And a good night of sleep (even though I was woken up every two hours-I'm used to that anyway) makes all the difference. And B has been great as usual, making trips back to the house for fresh clothes for me, taking the dogs to the kennel, and taking care of various chores.

I don't expect to be here too long, but if anyone feels like stopping by for a visit, you are more than welcome, just give me a call first to make sure we're still here!