Monday, June 16, 2008

Guest Post from a Future Dad

Hello. I am "B", Denise's husband. I volunteered to post a guest blog to update everyone on how Denise is doing since it has been a few days since she has posted and I know it is driving her crazy. First, let me give you all a quick update. Denise has obviously not been feeling great as of late. She has had her moments when she feels good but unfortunately they haven't lasted long enough for her to update you all through her blog. As of now, we are just taking everything day by day. I feel so bad for her and even worse, there is absolutely nothing I can do to make it better. I know she has expressed her gratitude to everyone in the past but let ME take this time to say thank you as well.

Okay, so now it's time to get out of my comfort zone and tell you all a bit about myself and my thoughts on what we have been through and will eventually go through. In terms of how Denise currently feels, it is real hard for me to have absolutely no control over this and even worse to not be able to help. Of course, I have been to the store 100 times and have tried to come up with items I think will help her. You see, I love to cook. Always have. Growing up I used to watch cooking shows with my dad and I come from a family where the men always cooked (as did the women). As soon as you walk into my grandparents house there is always a huge cheeses and salami platter waiting for you and my grandma would undoubtably have something on the stove and would insist that you have some. I guess it is just the way my family has always tried to comfort people. So for me to not be able to do this is just a little weird. I know Denise has written that I have been taking care of the household for the most part these last few weeks but I really don't mind. Actually, it is a way for me to contribute and help so it makes me feel good.

I guess I should have put this at the top but let me also say that I am so very excited about our "Buns". It been kind of weird really. I'm not scared at all (although I am sure that emotion will show itself eventually). I'm just real excited and want them to be here already. I think I will be a good dad and look forward to doing all those "dad things". Of course I have gone into responsible adult mode. I have contacted our life insurance agent and am currently upping the premium on myself (I guess I should watch my back when Denise has some of her mood swings). I have talked with some friends about creating a will, have been reading up on first time dad stuff, have tried to stop spending money on frivolous items, and have even decided not to get a new car until the Buns arrive and we see what type of new car they will want.

For now I am just trying to absorb the experience. One good thing is that Denise's parents live close by and all I know is that things would be impossible without them. We had an ultrasound the other day and Denise's mom was with us. I have to say, one of the coolest thing I have seen in a very long time was the look on my mother-in-law's face as the ultrasound tech was showing us both Buns. Denise and I have discussed this many times and we feel it is important to have them involved as much as they want to be (both before the birth and after). While my family is just as excited for us they don't live close by and we therefore lean on her parents. I grew up with all of my family living within a few blocks of each other and we always seemed to congregate at my grandparents house. I guess I was just hoping to give my kids that same experience (although my in-laws are probably locking their doors as they are reading this).

I actually can't wait to pick out all of the baby stuff. We have been to various baby stores a few times and there are so many cool things you can get. However, it kind of a double edged sword. Yah, there is a lot of cool thing out there but in this day and age there is also information overload on how to raise a kid. It's almost comical. If I were to believe everything I would think you could only take children outside once every 6 weeks when the moon is not full and the day of the week doesn't end in a "Y". I mean, look at me. I have sucked on my fair share of lead paint growing up and I turned out fine (that point is left open to debate).

Anyway, I apologize for my thoughts being so disorganized. I am obviously not the skilled writer that my wife is. I may appear from time to time depending on how Denise feels. Hopefully she will feel up to posting soon and you will not have to put up with any more of my rants.

Again, thanks to all of you. Your support has meant a great deal to both of us.


Rhonda said...

How exciting to read a posting from B!!!

I don't know if Denise has told you, but I am a stalker today's blog was great for 2 reasons - (1) there was a post, so my thirst for an update was satisfied and (2) it was from you and we were able to get your perspective of it!

I thought about you yesterday and the excitement about how next year will be such a celebratory Father's Day. From the years of knowing you, I know that you are going to make a great dad - you will certainly be one of the dad's that the kid's will all talk about as the "cool" one.

XOXOXO to both of you!

PS - while it goes without saying, I know that Denise loves all that you have done and you are such a great team and support system for her! Keep up the good work.

BB and MTB said...

Congrats B!!! Sounds like you will be a wonderful dad!!!!!

Phoebe said...

Hubby, you did a great job on your post! It's so heart warming to hear about how you are taking care of Denise! I'm glad you have the support of her family nearby too!

Alison said...

Hi B!! Thanks for the update. I have been worried about our girl. I know she signed up for a little sickness but this just seems a little over the top. You are a good hubby, not only for all the things you are doing at home but for also updating us!

PJ said...

Well, thanks for posting! I think you're brave and wonderful for doing so! Hopefully Denise will feel better soon. Sounds like she's had a rough go of it.

Deb said...

Nice to meet you B! Congrats to you!

Anonymous said...

Hi B! Welcome to the blogging world! Congratulations on the buns - you sound like you're going to be a fab dad!

Io said...

Happy Father's Day B! You did a nice job - you should blog more! Give Denise our love!

Ms. J said...

Loved what you wrote -- maybe I will bug my husband to do a guest blog entry, too ;o)

Seriously, we enjoy hearing the male point of view on these things.

Congrats again, Big Daddy!

Amanda said...

Way to go B. Thanks for the update. Sorry to hear Denise isn't feeling well, hopefully things will perk up. Since you're blogging in her place, can you please get over and read my blog and give me some advice on my fireplace mirror?!?!
Hope to see y'all soon.

Spicy Sister said...

Nice to meet you B!

Great post! You are obviously doing such a super job of taking care of poor Denise, I am sure she is so grateful for every bit of it. You sound like you will be an incredible dad and it is so great that you both have such loving supportive families and that hers is so close. It is really a blessing!

Thanks for keeping us all updated - please give Denise my warm wishes and my hopes that she feels better very very soon!!!!

s.e. said...

Very impressive to enter our crazy world, B. Your post was heart felt and manly at the same time.

Tell Denise we all feel for her. It's just completely not fair that you both have to continue to go uphill on this journey.

Kim said...

Thanks for the update. Hope she feels better soon. Glad you have great support from the future grandparents! nclm

Shinejil said...

Thanks, B, and many happy returns on your new role as blogger and future dad. Please give my love to Denise. I sincerely hope that things get easier very, very soon.

I think your feelings made perfect sense: I know how hard it is for my husband when he sees I'm hurting and can't do much to help. It's one of the things that really shows how much he cares for me, and I'm sure Denise feels that love, too.